Hi Guys its Friday! Whether your going out or staying in I hope you’re doing something special with someone this weekend. Here’s your latest addition to my tantric posts and my god its a good one!
Worshipping Our Lover
You can try this on alternate days or nights. The beauty of this practical assignment is that there is no going first. Whoever gives first receives first also. Let’s suppose it’s the woman who is to receive first. Your partner should run you a warm bath and prepare the bathroom with incense and candles. Make an occasion of it. You can relax and enjoy the bath while your lover washes you all over. Tell them how you like your hair washed, let them do it for you. You are being worshipped as a representation of the ultimate female energy. You are receiving, but your partner is also receiving. In his act of worship he is receiving an opportunity to do service, to be allowed to be of use, he is receiving just as much as you but in a different way.
After your bath you should find somewhere warm to lie down – perhaps on a rug in front of the fire. Your lover can then massage you with essential oils. This is not a therapeutic massage to ease muscular aches and tension (although it may well do as a bonus) but rather a massage so your lover can explore your body, caress you in a non sexual way. He should touch and soothe every part of your body until you feel your skin shine and burst with energy. Tell him how you feel as you go. Which bits feel best, where you like being touched the most, how much pressure to use, how his hands feel on your body. This massage usually produces a warm soporific effect but can also induce a sexual tension as well.
Let your lover bring you to orgasm as you like by using his fingers tongue and mouth. But this excercise is not about having sex, it’s about caressing, exploring and touching. Let him do all the touching. If you want him naked as well that’s fine, but it’s a massage for you. You don’t have to attend to his sexual needs in any way. This is the opportunity to worship the female divinity in you – the shakti or goddess. Enjoy the feeling of not only being worshipped but also being the goddess herself in human form. For that’s what you are and as such entitled to be worshipped.
The next day it’s the mans turn to be worshipped. Let your partner bathe and wash you, and let them give you the same soothing massage. Tell them which bits you like touched, where you feel warmth and caresses from their hands. You are being worshipped as the representation in human form of the God Shiva, for what you are.
If you want to you can let your partner bring you to orgasm using her hands and mouth, but remember, and this is important for men, real sex is not about orgasm. Tantric sex is about energy generated during sex – and that is something separate from the male orgasm. In the west, we are very goal orientated. We believe that every sexual encounter must end in orgasm or we will not be satisfied or fulfilled. However, this is simply not true. There are many practitioners of tantric sex who have refrained for years from ejaculating (which in the west we equate with orgasm) without losing anything from their sex lives, rather they have gained immeasurably.
Once we lose the need to be so focused on our orgasm we can begin to enjoy the journey, however since we are just starting out you can still have your orgasm for this practical assignment but it might be beneficial to try it again on another occasion and to decide not to have an orgasm deliberately and to see how it feels. We will look at enhancing the male orgasm later. You may find the exercise feels more satisfying because it has no end. No conclusion. If it ends in orgasm there is then a need to find another focus, to move on to something else. But if it doesn’t end in orgasm then the feeling of being worshipped as Shiva continues, the after glow remains as a glow.
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