It can seem hard for guys to keep the energy flowing from one encounter to the next. That flow is extremely important when it comes to giving an impression of social mastery and success.
I’ve compiled these flirt tips for guys who want to fully transform flirting into a fun, fluid experience.
Flirting is mostly about the mindset, and you’ll find state of mind to be a common thread through these points and, indeed, most of the content in my 7-Day Programmes and workshops. Shaping your mindset to be positive is key to strong flirting techniques.
Here are the 5 practical steps you can take to amp up your flirting game and strategise your night.
Know that you’re not going out to get laid when flirting
You’re going out to be social. Going out with the intention to laid holds you back. You only wind up putting too much social pressure on yourself.
In my earliest days of doing this, I couldn’t get out of my head at the start of a night. I kept telling myself I was going out to get laid. I was so excited to get to the sexual part of the encounter that I didn’t end up talking to any women.
We’re going out to meet fun and interesting people. Anything that progresses beyond that is great, and of course, you will get more closes and conversions with that mindset. But keeping your social momentum going should be at the forefront of your mind all night.
Flirting 101 for men: Create a social snowball.
Like a snowball growing in size as it rolls down a hill, you have to build your social status as the night progresses.
To kick the night off, designate your pad as the place for the pre-party. Have a few drinks, socialise with your mates, and get in the mood. Being the host provides a great boost to your social value.
Your next task is to interact with 3 people you don’t know. If you’re getting the cab to your night out, have a chat to the taxi driver. If you see a person with snappy shoes or a coat you like, male or female, make a point of telling them. Strike up friendly conversation with a barman.
Do whatever you can to stay social and keep your value up wherever you are.
You have to stay in that social element to step up when you see a woman you like. If you’ve started festivities in a fun way that encourages momentum, it becomes much easier to keep the good vibes going.
Pre-approach to flirting
Start planting seeds at the first bar you get to. Just start talking to people at the bar, whoever they are. What are they celebrating? What’s the occasion? You want to be engaging groups of people and throwing open questions out there.
You may not be looking to pick anyone up here. What you’re doing is priming your social energy for the eventual moment in which you meet an exciting woman.
A note here is that you will naturally be asked what you’re up to. Always give them your plan for the evening, whether you actually have one or not. Don’t leave it at asking what they’re doing and hijacking their night out.
An attractive man is one who knows what he wants, so you can use the pre-approach to warm up your attraction skills and the way you project confidence.
When you get to the second club, look to gain rapport with all the key players – the bouncers, the promoters, the barmen, maybe even the DJ or performers. This will elevate your social status.
Knowing the people that work there adds social value to your public profile, and women are attracted to this. Being the glue that holds the party together is what will make flirting pay off for you.
The bold flirt
The best flirting advice I can give you is to be different.
You have to break the patterns beautiful girls are used to hearing when they are approached. If guys normally do everything in their power to convince a girl of reasons she should sleep with them, she’s going to remember the guy convincing her she shouldn’t.
Disqualifying yourself creates a sense of fun and mischief. One of my clients called me recently to tell me that they’d achieved great success with a woman by using “If I didn’t have a boyfriend, you’d so be mine right now.”
You can obviously show your intent later, but it’s a lighthearted opener that creates mystery. We want what we can’t have.
Alternatively, you can be direct in really cheeky ways, such as “I haven’t come over here to try and pull you, but I have to say, you look fucking hot in that dress.” Saying something like oozes confidence and makes her interested in the undefined parameters of your approach.
Consider time frames when flirting
The fact that different types of people that go out at different times of night is a practicality to bear in mind. Considering these behavioral patterns can help you preserve energy and focus your approaches on one segment of the night
In London, for example, you get people going for drinks after work between 5 and about 8, people going for dinner between around 8 and 10, and the night owls after that. The type of women you want will define the time slot on which you should focus your energy.
Bars that combine more than one type of establishment are great as you can find a mixture of people to interact with from overlapping time frames. The restaurant/cocktail bars are my favourite place to go as they provide a constant stream of a varied people.
There’s also a phase a few hours into a club night when girls are looking at where to go next, or who to hook up with. Make use of it.
I sometimes used to drive in and start my night around 11. My momentum would be on a certain level by the time girls were approaching the end of their club nights. Girls are naturally more sexually charged after hours of dancing and being hit on.
This is a time frame that shows great return on investment. Pick your spots wisely, so you’re getting a good return on your time.
If you’re looking to seriously step up your flirting skill, why not look at a 7-Day Programme or workshop today?
Head to www.johnnycassell.com/pua-training today to discover your true capabilities.