How To Stay In State

Hi guys, this blog will talk about how to keep in state. What I mean by this is to keep your social muscle moving.

I coined this term social snowballing. What that means is to get the little social interactions out of the way first of all, which readies yourself for talking to the people you want to talk to. An example could be if you are driving home from work, you could talk to the guy behind the till when you fill up your tank at the petrol station. Maybe you speak to your boss for a little longer than usual before you leave work. Maybe you give a passing compliment to someone on the street, or ask someone for the time. These small interactions will build up your own social snowball and will exercise your social muscle. As you do this more, you will prepare yourself for bigger social interactions later in the day, or in the evening.

Throughout the night, you do run out of energy. You should look at it like a computer game. You go through the level, you run out of energy and then you get to the check point which gives you a sudden boost of energy that allows you to continue for the rest of the level. I would see little interactions as these checkpoints. Don’t look at interactions with people as a way of sapping your energy.

Try it out. When you’re feeling tired, when you’re feeling down and you’re feeling unsociable, socialise. That’s the time to get these little interactions out the way with.

When I was invited to this birthday party that I really didn’t want to go to, I spent the whole evening just thinking, “I don’t really want to be here. I can’t be bothered, I just want to go home,” but then I had this one interaction. This girl came up to me, a mutual friend. We started talking, but it was too late. I was now ready to socialise, but my taxi was going to be there in 15 minutes. I had wasted the whole night.

So, I use this reference point in teaching my students to use their social muscle to get the social snowball going during the day.

Hope you’ve enjoyed this and found some value. Make sure to find out more about upcoming events and my personal one-on-one training by contacting me at [email protected] your dating coach in London

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