There is an art to the goodnight text on which a lot of guys miss out. I’m going to walk you through ways to stimulate your partner before bedtime, even when you’re not even in the same room.
Everyone communicates by SMS nowadays. Even if you’re living with a woman, you’ll no doubt be sending each other emojis and sweet nothings throughout the day.
It’s an effort-free way to keep rapport going and ramp up anticipation to see each other.
Naturally, the onus is on you to make the face-to-face part worth waiting for, but there are great ways to keep that sexual and romantic atmosphere going when you’re not in the same place.
Here are my tips on thinking up effective good night texts for her.
There are different ways to leave her thinking of you at the end of the day. There’s the sexy route, the sweet route, and the romantic route. All three have a place, depending on where you’re at in the relationship.
BEFORE YOU START thinking about what to say in a text, make sure you’re keeping text contact sparse and giving her the impression that she’s missing out on the exciting elements of your life.
You also need to remember to engage basic spelling and grammar. She’s barely going to understand a stream of text speak, and if you’re trying to be truly evocative, don’t get lost in acronyms and typos. Think about the experience you’re giving her.
The sexy goodnight text
If you’re really want to get her juices flowing, you need to know what language makes her tick.
Language really is your only tool here. The trick to flirty goodnight text messages is keeping the tone suggestive and letting her take the front foot.
A key tip is to read women’s erotic fiction. This stuff sells by the crateload, and it sells for a reason: it speaks to women’s desires. It’s often written by women, for women, and is a passport into the sexual fantasies and language construction that speak to women so vividly.
50 Shades of Grey is onto its second movie adaptation for a reason.
Tumblr, the blogging website, is also a rich source of erotic storytelling and images.
Pop down to Waterstone’s, flick through a couple of novels in the Erotic Literature section, and have a look at the level of language they’re using. They’re very visual, highly descriptive, and do not pull any punches. This is the tact you need to adopt.
You can’t just leap headlong into filth, mind you. Create anticipation and test the boundaries using innuendo, and when she lets loose, so can you.
The idea is that you are trying to keep her awake with sexual thoughts, not send her to sleep with a satisfied smile.
The devil really is in the details with this one. So instead of something lazy, like:
“You’re so hot. I really want to fuck you…”
Start ramping up a scenario, such as:
“Your ears are so cute. I just want to nibble on them and lick them until you moan and start moving your hand towards my cock.”
You’re immediately involving more senses and, even just in a text message format, having a far greater impact. As I said, though, don’t dive straight into this. Create an atmosphere first. You don’t want to misread the tone and make her feel uncomfortable.
Stimulate her and get her imagination running wild.
The sweet goodnight text
The sweetest way to say goodnight doesn’t need to revolve around sex.
Even inspiring her to think about you in a non-sexual way can be a powerful move when you’re in the blossoming stages of a relationship.
It can be bold to drop the façade of cool that so often surrounds dating. You have to be sweet in a way that relates to her specifically, which means you need to understand a little bit about her and the way she thinks.
The purpose of sending a sweet message before you go to sleep is to let her know you’re thinking of her. So be honest about why she’s on your mind.
“Thinking of u beb xxxx”
“You know, I had an amazing time at the arcade with you last week, but I keep replaying that game of air hockey in my head, and I’m not entirely sure your victory counts.”
It doesn’t seem sweet, but you’re drawing on a shared experience and bringing humor into the fray. Both are hugely powerful emotional triggers and connectors.
You can be sweet without hammering the point home. If you give her the inkling you’re thinking about her, that will be enough to get her imagination running wild, but in a more emotional than sexual sense. He likes me! He’s awake and thinking about me! He’s excited to see me again!
Don’t run away from being sweet. It doesn’t have to be corny.
The romantic goodnight text
If you’re trying to take the relationship to the next level, it may be time to think of a truly romantic goodnight text for her.
This is when you really need to play on the iconography of love – tell her you’re crazy about her and you’re drifting off to sleep thinking about her.
Or that you can’t wait to wake up to another day hanging out with her.
Or that you can’t sleep because she’s playing on your mind.
The great thing about these romantic texts is that they can stay on the same romantic course, or veer into the other two styles, turning sexual or sweet at a moment’s notice.
Don’t hammer the clichés though – always find a way to make your message relatable to her, and phrase it in a way you know she will absorb.
Whichever type of text you choose to send, it has to be appropriate for both the recipient’s tastes and the current stage of your relationship with them.
The key is to keep that flame burning until the next time you see each other. But you also have to mix this up with creating demand, keeping busy, and being mysterious to retain attraction.
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