A first date is a thrill-ride through your personal histories, values, and common ground. The follow-up date is about sustaining a sense of fun and showing what a relationship with you is going to be about.
In some ways, the second date can be easier. You’ve already established rapport, and if your date has already agreed to meet up again, you can be sure that they value the time you spent together. A second date means they still like you.
However, you’ve done the icebreaker questions. The second date is about test driving what it’s like to properly hang out with each other and experience life together. It’s also about how comfortable you feel around each other having taken the initial plunge.
As a guy, you can generate a lot of attraction by taking the lead on where you go and what you do. I came up with a few amazing ideas to keep the excitement rolling and maintain momentum through your second date and into the third.
This is a test of how you live up to that winning first impression.
Escalation: Level your plans up
The first date should be a simple, classy affair that mainly revolves around conversation and deepening your knowledge of each other. The second, however, should escalate some aspect of your relationship.
By the end of the date, you should feel like she is opening up to you. A blossoming physical attraction should become apparent, and you should both be talking more about deeper aspects of your lives.
Your personalities will also be able to shine through a little brighter on this date. Try to push the boundaries a little further – be as natural and unfiltered as you can.
You should both also be feeling strong sexual tension. It means that trust is developing and your partner has started to feel at ease around you – and more than a little turned on.
What to do on a second date
While your headspace may well focus around exploring your connection a little deeper and increasing the chance of physical intimacy, it doesn’t mean that your date should feel like a business lunch.
Anything too formal or fancy may feel overbearing by the second date.
A museum date
Museums and galleries are perfect for a quiet, low-key day out together.
Pick your museum based on how long you want to spend there or when your reservations for food may be. If you’re planning a slow meander, you might benefit from picking a larger, national museum.
However, every city has its quirky museums, galleries, and curious personal collections on display. They’re usually pretty small, rammed with talking points and jokes you can make, and highly memorable exhibits.
During lockdown, many British museums are running virtual tours, so why not learn about Ancient Egypt while laughing over Zoom?
Eye-catching outdoor hangouts
If the weather’s good, why not head to your nearest botanical gardens or floral beauty spot for a walk, a cuddle on a bench, and conversation in a beautiful setting. Maybe you live near a beach or nature trail.
Whatever it is, bring a bottle of wine and a picnic with you and it’s a fetching backdrop for developing a deeper connection.
Maybe it’s grey and drizzling outside. In which case, head to your nearest National Trust location and explore any number of castles in quaint little villages.
This might not seem fitting for a Metropolitan gentleman such as yourself. However, think about it: Your date has likely been whisked around every glitzy bar going. Escaping somewhere quiet and local together will stand out in the context of her previous experiences.
Small local gigs
Nothing gives the impression you know your way around a social scene like knowing the underground singers and bands in the area.
If you’re not clued up, fear not: Just ask around or look at local gig listings. Even if it’s a cover act, it’s a small-scale, shared experience. This one isn’t so great for conversation while the acts are playing, so make sure you create time for real dialogue.
However, dancing together is also a great connector, so you may be able to notch up the sexual tension in non-verbal ways.
A stand-up showcase
Again, you’re sitting there without talking to each other for stretches of time, so this wouldn’t be my first port of call.
However, if you find that your senses of humour really click on the first date, applying a litmus test to that wouldn’t hurt.
Your best bet is finding a comedy club showcase. A full show’s worth of material from one comic can be quite full on if it doesn’t turn out to be her bag. However, a showcase means that while you might not be guaranteed 100% consistency, enough bases are covered. Plus, you’ll have regular intervals to chat.
A chill evening of board games at yours
You might have gone out to eat for the first date. In this case, switch it up for the second, and show her how you entertain at Casa You.
Cook some soulful food, whip out some two player board games (or video games, if she’s into it) and crack out some chilled, tasteful music.
If you guys are set to become an item in the future, she’ll need to know that hanging out with you is a comfortable, fun way to invest time. Show her the works. Maybe have a mini-marathon of one favourite movie from each of you.
Set up activities that get you talking and physically close.
However chilled out your second date is, remember that each date should progress the relationship within boundaries that are acceptable to both of you.
Don’t shy away from a cuddle, held hand, or physical gesture. These are all methods for initiating bodily contact and helping you both feel comfortable approaching a more sexual context.
Whatever you end up doing, having fun together is the main objective.
To nail your first, second, and third dates (and beyond), check out my virtual Impactful Connection courses.