The Internet is forever, and it’s everywhere.
The remotest parts of our lives can end up on Google Images, so you have to be wary of what you portray about yourself online.
Why only put that much care in when trying to protect your privacy? Why not make the most of it, and tweak your online presence to make yourself stand out?
This applies tenfold in the world of online dating. From Tinder to Bumble to match.com, apps and platforms are springing up everywhere to help people connect with each other.
And you’ll be competing for space with at least half the people who use the sites.
Here’s how to make your profile pop. I’ve analysed some of the best online dating profiles ever to see what it is about them that renders them successful.
Here are a few choice tips about how to put together the best online dating profile for men.
ADD AN EXTRA LAYER TO EVERYTHING YOU SAY
Don’t just give whats, but whys as well. If you love waterskiing, definitely mention it, but say what it adds to your life. If you’re in a band, mention them, but be sure to make a point of why you love to perform.
Even if it’s just long walks or birdwatching, there’s a reason you spend your time doing the things that interest you. Get across a sense of your value system, and allow women to have a glimpse of what life with you would be like.
This applies to little details, too. If you’re into live music, say what kind of bands you watch. If you get involved with charity work, give a sense of whom you help.
As long as you pepper your profile with little, colourful details, you’ll get a strong sense across of your identity in the limited space you have.
GO EASY ON THE HUMOUR
Some people just naturally write funnily. You can identify the people who can write funny, fluent prose by scrolling through Facebook.
The way they write makes you smile, and it would have the same effect on the kind of person they’d want to talk to on a dating site.
Those people should have very little trouble putting together a compelling profile, normally by way of well-placed self-deprecation.
However, some people use humour as a crutch, and your profile can slip into parody territory if this is what you normally lean on in social situations. You shouldn’t be trying to make your potential dates laugh out loud with a dating profile.
Don’t put up too wacky a profile picture (we’ll get to that in a bit) and make sure you don’t drown out the important details of who you are in a bid to get a cheap laugh. You might strike lucky with some kooky characters, but you’ll be unlikely to make a real impact that way.
Save making a woman laugh for the date. Make them smile in anticipation on the site.
DON’T BE ALOOF
In a bid to sound impressive, you may risk losing your human touch.
Whether it’s bragging about sporting achievements, trying to sound as artsy and pretentious as possible, or bringing politics or religion into it, give your profile a once over just to make sure you sound grounded.
If you’re cultured or successful, you need to give a sense of that, because they’re naturally attractive qualities. But don’t rub a woman’s face in it.
If you’re a bit of a romantic, this can all be part of your online dating profile
Don’t forget; this is a dating environment, not LinkedIn. You can afford to give off a flirty impression, so do! People want to see a fun, outgoing person that can whisk them along on the adventure.
Invite them to engage with whatever it is you talk about loving.
“I love pizza a bit too much, want to come help me with this one I just ordered?”
Always keep in mind that you’re persuasively addressing someone. A girl at a bar wouldn’t come home with you if you just went up to her and started blathering on about your life without demonstrating your intent. It works the same online.
SET YOUR BOUNDARIES
In dating, you’re going to get the healthiest results from stating what you’re looking for from the outset. Besides, the impression that someone knows what they want is extremely attractive.
Likewise, if you have kids, bring them up. There’s no point lying about them. They’re going to come up eventually, and they should be important enough for to you to mention.
Mentioning your kids is also a warning and a disclaimer. Not everyone is comfortable entering a relationship with kids in the picture.
The interesting nuggets of information and quirks are what draws in women. They also serve as a demonstration of what type of date you’re seeking and what your terms are. If you mention your kids, for example, you expect a potential partner to be okay with them.
By setting out rules, you’re maximising the chances of a woman making contact and not wasting your time.
Be different. Every man has something that differentiates them from the next guy. You might be from somewhere unusual. You might have a particular passion. You might just be into some weird stuff.
Either way, you need to convey that in how you write the profile. Look at what everyone else seems to be doing, and deliberately go against that convention.
Loads of people start with an inspirational quote. Maybe think about starting with a quote from a strange source, or a wilfully incorrect quote attributed to someone completely wrong.
Perhaps drop hints at embarrassing guilty pleasures, like knowing all the words to Agadoo, or enjoying atrocious movies.
Going against the grain will get the attention of the right prospects, and it will give the impression that a fully formed human is sitting behind your screen.
Making yourself stand out will also give you ample subject matter to discuss on the first date.
7 CHOOSE A RANGE OF GREAT PROFILE PICTURES
You’re allowed one or two posed photos that show you in your best light, but no pouting, no sullen frowns, and no topless pics. We know you work out. It will show through a t-shirt, too.
Choose photos outside, in good light, and showing you with what you love. Select pictures of you carrying out your hobbies, playing with your pet, having a laugh with your friends, and giving the impression of well-rounded, fun person
There’s plenty of ways to spruce up a profile, and I’ll have a product out later this year that explores this in a bit more depth.
In the meantime, jump into the world of online dating and see how you can make it work for you.
For more guidance online and off, head to www.johnnycassell.com/pua-training and find out about my 7-Day Workshops and Impactful Connection workshops.