In this article, I’m going to break down some important rules for relationships that can help men keep their partners happy and themselves fulfilled.
Men who take my 7-Day Course course ask me all the time what awaits them once they master talking to women, and I always tell them relationships are the hard part. Smashing your personal barriers and exuding confidence is a process but one that’s very much in your hands.
Relationships are different. They’re about two people shaping their lives around each other. They are never-ending balancing acts of compromise and boundary-setting that few people get truly, enduringly right.
I’ve spent the last 15 years teaching guys how to step outside their comfort zone, but what happens when you’re getting comfortable with a woman on a long-term basis?
Here are the main things I always bear in mind when giving men relationship advice.
Dating rules for men
Men’s relationship advice and the tips you’d give women on the same topic are surprisingly similar. Both parties need to actively incorporate these into the fabric of their connection.
Encourage your partner to live a bigger and better life.
Relationships are not there to drain away what makes each of you an individual. You are clearly pursuing a long-term relationship with this particular woman because she has her own life, drive, goals, and passions. All are extremely vital and sexy traits.
I’m sure you wouldn’t sacrifice your career or ambitions for the sake of a relationship, and you shouldn’t expect her to do the same.
For both of you to be happy, actively engage in what makes you great as a pair and as individuals, and share the rewards. You deserve a good life. Make sure you both get a taste of one.
Support her by listening and by being there.
She doesn’t need you to be a PA, act as a handyman, or have all the answers. No one does. She will have problems that you wouldn’t normally deem to be a priority, and that you won’t be able to fix or suggest alternatives for.
What she does expect from you is an ear. That’s all. You have to show interest in the parts of her life that are making her upset or causing her difficulties without trying to take a wrench to all of them.
Stick to your shared values and respect any established boundaries.
There is something instinctive about striking that vital first spark of rapport and attraction, but sharing and adhering to shared values are the key factors in keeping a long-term relationship buoyant.
If she’s not happy about you flirting with other women, don’t do it. If she’s openly religious, for example, make sure you respect the terms and boundaries dictated by what she believes.
You don’t necessary have to follow the same value system that she does (although it helps.) But you do have to ensure that you are doing right by her.
When in doubt, go with what’s morally correct.
People are complex. You’re not going to understand every part of what makes her tick, and you may never have a full picture of what she does and does not approve of.
However, it’s easy not to screw up – you simply have to do what’s actually right. Moral boundaries are grey rather than black and white, so you may not get it 100% correct every time, but you are no longer the sole reaper of what you sow. You have to try to be the best man you can be.
She’s going to end up paying hefty consequences for the bad decisions you make, or she may just end up feeling miserable and conflicted if you find yourself doing morally questionable things throughout the relationship.
Not everyone has the same view on what’s right, but you at least need to examine your actions a little more closely now that someone else depends on you.
Have the basics in check so you can focus on the important stuff.
This is vital. Make sure the bills are paid, the house is clean, and you’re financially stable so that you can place more emphasis on actually being a couple.
You’re not housemates, even though you may live together. But if your lives are needlessly chaotic, it’s not going to make for a deep and rewarding relationship.
Make sure you’re not tripping up over practicalities.
Never stop dating.
This is one of the most important pieces of relationship advice for guys.
It’s so easy to fall into a life of endless “Netflix and chill,” but this shouldn’t be all that you do. Spend money on experiences you can share together. Never become too comfortable.
Most relationships fall apart because of boredom. Make sure you keep your connection fresh and stimulating.
Both people should have the freedom to be themselves.
This connects to encouraging her to have the best life possible.
While you should be a unit, and best friends as well as lovers, you are both individuals with your own goals and aspirations.
Make sure you both have the space to flourish. Spend time together, but don’t overcrowd each other.
Integrate the people they love into your life.
Impressing a girlfriend’s parents is a hard-won feat. In some cases, impressing her friends can be even harder.
It’s a bonus if you get on with each other’s families, but always be polite and make an effort. They just want you both to be happy. Don’t let the voices of either of your families drown out how you feel about each other.
Make sure the people that mean a lot to her mean a lot to you too.
Remove the fear of communicating your thoughts, concerns, and desires.
The real clincher behind any relationship tips for guys is to communicate, and not to be afraid of expressing emotion.
Men often act under the illusion that silence or stubbornness is strength. The opposite is true. A relationship will be ten times stronger once you open up about what you really want from it, from her, and from life.
None of the other items of relationship advice for men in this article work without communication.
A relationship can truly enrich your life. Are you willing to work at it?
For inspiring tuition on how to start on the road to a rewarding relationship, head over to www.johnnycassell.com/pua-training and find out all about my 7-Day Courses.