Hey guys i hope you managed to take something away from the last post, It is a great exercise for those that also have limited belief, low self esteem and confidence. Here is the second assignment you can do with your partner tonight !
With your lover write down all your expectations of your partner. What do you want them to give you , do for you? What do they do that you don’t like? What do you want to do that you’ve never dared ask or try? How do you want to be held? What sort of caresses do you like to give and receive?
Learning About Your Partner
When you have written down everything you can think of swap over, what you will be given will be invariably, unless you’re connected, be a surprise. This exercise mustn’t become the beginning of discord argument. Instead you can learn a lot about your partner from it . Whatever your partner wants, expects, gives or receives is fine – and the same for you. In tantric sex there can be no right or wrong – only acceptance and recognition. You have to do this with two things in mind: honesty and no judgements. If you want to be in harmony with your partner you have to be honest – as they do also. And if they’ve been courageous enough to be honest then you have to accept what they say without judgement. A person’s sexuality is a very vulnerable and delicate area – but there is no right or wrong . If they have certain reservations or what may appear to you to be strange notions or ideas, then what you feel is fine – because it’s part of them . Obviously the same goes for you. Your feelings, ideas and wants are to be respected .
Asking for What you Want
Look at what your partner has written. Did you know all this? If not, what were you thinking of? The tantric texts were written as a means of communication. Enhancing sex is about just this communication. This communication between lovers in a relationship can be spoken or not – just so long as it takes place. We all need to be cared for, comforted, loved, caressed and worshipped – but how many of us know how to ask for these things? Or indeed that it’s our right to expect them? But first we have to be prepared to give to them. We cannot give unless we know what is wanted of us, what is expected. To know that we have to be prepared to listen, to be aware of our partners needs. We cannot be open to another’s needs if we are consumed with our own. To give whole heartedly , without reservation, without expectation of reward or reciprocal gifts is the first and hardest lesson of tantric sex.
When we are aware of our partners needs are. Ultimately important we can give ultimately to them. And thus they will give back to us unconditionally. We cannot expect this return of love it’s a bonus when it happens. But we have to be the ones to make the first declaration of unconditional worship – that’s the way it works. We give first and then are rewarded sometimes. But we always give first .
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