Few things are as painful in life as rejection. For that reason, many men cling onto hope and persist in chasing a dream, failing to spot the signs they’re not going to get anywhere. Granted, women are complex beings, and some of the signs are difficult to detect, which is why this dating lark can sometimes be so darn confusing. If you don’t know whether or not she’s into you, let us put you out of your misery.
1. SHE GIVES YOU ONE-WORD ANSWERS
You: “Hey, how are you today?”
You: “What did you get up to this morning?”
Women love to talk. They’re chatty Cathies naturally programmed to gas about everything and nothing. However, if you’re only getting one-word answers, she frankly can’t be bothered with you. Abort the mission.
2. SHE FAILS THE TEXT TEST
We are living in the 21st century, right? Everybody is umbilically connected to their mobiles. We take them to bed, plough through our news feeds while on the toilet and fire off tweets at a rate of knots. So if it takes several hours for her to get back to you, the only responses are one-word answers, or it’s always you who initiates text conversations, then stop what you’re doing and back away. She’s not into you. Now, men try to hang on to the tiniest slither of hope by coming up with their own excuses for why she’s not responding. Perhaps she is genuinely busy every time I send a text or in a lousy Wi-Fi zone. Nope, that’s just not true. If she’s not texting back, she’s not interested.
3. HER BODY LANGUAGE SAYS BACK OFF, BUDDY
Study after study has shown we all speak volumes with our bodies, and you don’t need to be a crack codebreaker to decipher what the object of your affections is saying with hers. If she’s twiddling her hair, lightly touching your arm, leaning in when you speak and invading your personal space on purpose, then man, you’re on fire. However, if her arms are folded, her posture is stiff, or her legs are crossed and pointing away from you, then you are barking up the wrong tree and will get nowhere.
4. SHE’S FLAKY
Let’s say you hear the magic words, “Yes, I’d love to go on a date with you.” Bingo, you’re in! It’s love hearts, flowers and overly enthusiastic public displays of affection for you, my friend. But, before you get there, she calls or texts to say she can’t make your planned lunch or dinner date. OK, that’s a gut punch, but it’s not the end of the world. People are busy, and life sometimes gets in the way. So, you make another date, and well, she flakes on that too. Then she pulls out of the third planned date at the last minute. Hey, have you noticed a pattern here? Enough already. If she is as keen on you as you are on her, she will move heaven and earth to be with you.
5. SHE LEAVES EARLY
Let’s imagine another scenario, and this time she does turn up to the date. That is of course a good sign, but be aware, you haven’t sealed the deal just yet. Some women will go on a date to see if they feel a connection with a guy. They quite like him and think there could, maybe, possibly be something there. But if she’s not getting those romantic vibes she’ll leave faster than a bat out of hell. She’s not going to just bolt; she’ll be diplomatic about it and invent an excuse like she’s got to go back home because it’s late or there’s an office emergency.
6. SHE DOESN’T DRESS TO IMPRESS
We all get nervous when we’ve got a crush on someone, and we’ll dress up smartly to create a good impression. But if she doesn’t put in the effort or doesn’t look any different from how she usually dresses when she’s on a date with you, then she’s not trying to get your attention.
7. SHE CAN’T STOP TALKING ABOUT OTHER MEN
So, Romeo, you’re chatting away and feel like the conversation is going well. But hang on a minute, isn’t she talking about her ex-boyfriends a little too much? And why does she keep mentioning other men in her life, like a bloke from the office and a family friend? Or worse, she asks for your advice about men she wants to date. Get the hint. If she’s continually throwing their names about you’ve got no chance. Turn around and beat a retreat while you can still do so with a measure of dignity.
8. SHE DOESN’T SIT CLOSE TO YOU
Every time you’re out with friends or colleagues, she sits on a chair or sofa on the other side of the room when there is clearly space next to or near you. Or you sit next to her, but within minutes she’s off to chat with someone else. These are like big signs written in flashing neon lights that scream out she’s just not that into you.
9. TELLING EVERYONE YOU’RE JUST FRIENDS
We like the word ‘friends’. It makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside because we think of our closest pals and the good times we’ve enjoyed. But when the woman you’ve got the hots for repeatedly refers to you as a friend and introduces you to everyone as such just substitute the word with “Nope, I’m never going to do it with this guy.” There is no hope here at all. The Friend Zone is not where you want to be.
10. SHE SAYS SHE’S NOT INTO YOU
Now, this sign should be straightforward to fathom. She says she’s not into you or just likes you as a friend. Even after hearing this, some men want to give it a final shot and will persist. Wrong move, pal. She’s not teasing or playing hard to get, she’s sending you a crystal clear message that you don’t float her boat.
Look, guys, life is too short to waste on dreams that are never going to materialise. Please make sure you’re fluent in spotting the signs she’s not into you. Then instead of waiting for a ship that will never come in, devote your energies to finding someone who’ll be into you in a big way.