How to talk dirty to a girl
In the age of the advent of widely available porn and the terrible, terrible scripts that come with them, dirty talk may seem to be something of a lost art. However, it is also a powerfully stimulating part of sexual activity and learning to talk dirty can be the key to memorable and ultra dirty sex.
Knowing how to talk dirty can transform a relationship of listless dry-humping into a passionate and prolonged connection. The key to sex talk is using suggestion and appealing to the most reactive sexual organ there is: the imagination.
There’s a few stages to mastering a filthy tongue.
- BUILD A FOUNDATION
- SET THE SCENE
- START ON A COMFORTABLE MEDIUM
- PAIR DIRTY TALK WITH OTHER STIMULATION
- TAKE OWNERSHIP OF THE TONE
- BUT LET HER SET THE BOUNDARIES
- DON’T OVERTALK
- ‘ANCHOR’ PHRASES TO NORMALISE DIRTY TALK
Here’s a breakdown of each stage to sexy talk perfection. With a calm handle on the encounter, you could find that she’s the one on Google looking up ‘how to talk dirty to a guy’ in order to keep up.
BUILD A FOUNDATION
Dirty talk is only on the cards when sex is on the cards, and there needs to be an implicit trust and comfortable rapport to build into something more driven and passionate.
If you have fun with her, and don’t only talk about sex, you will find that it is a much more natural, playful transition into talking dirty.
Always have in mind that dirty talking is about making sex a more anticipated and heightened experience, and sex is about reinforcing a connection. Reinforce that outside of the bedsheets too.
It is very important to know a girl, and what she will react to, before you go down this road.
SET THE SCENE
If we’re talking about face-to-face dirty talking during sex, be sure to set a romantic atmosphere, lowly lit with downbeat, sexy music playing. Maybe some incense too. As dirty is to stimulate her imagination, set her other senses on fire as well.
Feedback from all of her senses will create a supremely intense experience that will be easy to tie together with dirty talk.
START ON A COMFORTABLE MEDIUM
You have get comfy dirty talking, because anything less than 100% conviction will flatten the atmosphere or lead to a trailing off. So start on a medium you trust, test the waters and have fun.
If you’ve already got a dynamic connection with a girl, try broaching the topic of sex via WhatsApp, Tinder or by SMS. Dirty texts can be a great way to see where her boundaries are, and to be light and flirty to gauge how the tone changes.
Make her imagine what it will be like to go to that level with you, and ramp up the anticipation. A few examples are.
“I can’t wait to f*ck you.”
“I can’t wait for you to see me naked.”
“I can’t wait for you to FEEL me inside”
“I just want to un button your blouse and caress your breasts in my hands.”
“We’ve known each other for some time now. Why haven’t we slept with each other yet?”
“I can’t wait for you to feel my body on top of yours.”
“I want to take you to a room, strip your clothes off and do all sorts of things to you.”
It’s pretty easy to backpedal on a text too, so if you are getting signs that she may not be comfortable with this level of verbal intimacy you can send a ‘Aww, I’m sorry, no offence intended – I was just playing around – I’ll go easy on ya xxx’ and more or less extricate yourself from the situation.
Dirty text messages are a fun and exciting safety blanket and scenario setter, but as with all online flirting, take the relationship offline ASAP. Text too much filth and you could find yourself on the less favourable side of the ‘creepy’ borderline.
PAIR DIRTY TALK WITH OTHER STIMULATION
Dirty talk works best in the throes of passion when used in conjunction with other techniques to excite ago. Talk very low and quiet directly into her ear, so she can feel the brief expulsion of a whisper with every word you say. Be sure to bite, lick and suck her shoulder/neck between sentences. Grab her hair and run your fingers downwards along her back.
Be stimulating at least three of her senses at once and watch the bed get wetter.
TAKE OWNERSHIP OF THE TONE
Like dancing, kissing or pretty much anything to do with girls, they are expecting you to take the lead. The same applies to pillow talk – if you believe in what you’re saying, and she is already sexually excited by you, she is waiting for you to take her to a level she’s never visited before. You, however, have to buy her the ticket there.
If you’ve had the confidence to take her to bed, you already have the mettle in you to whisper dirty nothings in her ear.
Also, frame them as compliments. Girls love to feel like goddesses, so oblige – dirty talk does not simply have to be deriding them as ‘f*cking whores’ and slapping them about. If she’s into that – and she will guide you in that direction if she is – then don’t hold back (although have arrangements for a ‘safe word’ or some kind of failsafe if it’s getting too much.)
However, if you are taboo whilst building her confidence too, she is far more likely to feel comfortable with the situation and join you in talking dirty.
Swearing is fine, but not to the exclusion of atmosphere. Dirty talk is all about being upfront and explicit. Examples of dirty sex quotes can include, but are by no means limited to:
“Your breasts are absolutely f*cking perfect.”
“I fucking love your ass.”
“Your lips are beautiful. I want to feel them on me.”
“I want to put my mouth on every last fucking bit of you.”
“How does my dick feel?”
A great way of owning the tone, as well as getting her imagination going, is asking questions. Ask her what she likes, what she thinks of when she sees your cock, ask her not if she wants to be f*cked hard but how hard she wants to be f*cked; be assumptive, not aggressive. Even if you get a moan of pleasure in return, it’s working. Don’t think too hard of a list of dirty questions to ask a girl – just react to the goings on in the bedroom and ask accordingly.
BUT LET HER SET THE BOUNDARIES
Men’s minds go to pretty animalistic places during sex, and while dirty talk is a great way of letting a woman in on it, there’s a limit. Everyone has their taste boundaries, but if you’ve searched up this article I’m imagining you’re the one who wants to go further with talking dirty.
Take it slow, let her get comfortable, and don’t try and push it too hard if she doesn’t feel at ease with a topic. Also, avoid talking about things like threesomes with her best friends or other women. It might be exciting and what you’re really thinking about but you’re shooting repeat sex dead on the spot.
It’s a good idea to sharpen your erotic tongue and mind. Pore through some women’s erotic diction like 50 Shades of Grey. You don’t have to enjoy the plot. You do have to learn how to think and talk sexier.
There isn’t much to this one – don’t witter on and don’t worry about trying to come up with the James-Bond-iest one-liner you can. Just focus on the physical side and say sexier things quietly and infrequently. Eye contact and erotic touching is far more important.
AFTER YOU PULL IT OFF, DON’T LIMIT ITS USE TO THE BEDROOM
There can be a world to explore within dirty talking, and it can be an intimate way to share your sexual fantasies with someone.
As with any language, it has the power to trigger feelings outside of its own context. So repeat some of the dirty things you say when you’re out shopping, or just hanging out. It’s a fun connection, and reminding her of that will settle the notion of dirty talk in her head, as well as ensuring it can continue in the future.
Have fun and don’t forget to wash your mouth out with soap afterwards 😉
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