Turning A Girl On Through Text
There’s another article on here that primarily takes you through how to turn a text encounter into a real world one sooner rather than later. And, ultimately, this should always be at the back of your mind. However, there is an art to creating desire by text that warrants it’s own explanation – it’s a key step in how to make a girl want you.
Remember to set yourself apart from the pack before you try the sexy stuff. The same way you don’t stampede towards the clitoris in a sexual encounter, you have to set a tone and an atmosphere and make yourself a unique prospect before she can be turned on through text.
Foreplay is as much in the mind as it is the fingertips, and you can get quite a way to the bedroom simply by knowing what to say, or playing the right games. Sexting gets a bad rep, but the right technique and context can make it an exciting a fun way to ramp up anticipation.
Here are a few tips to get you rolling via SMS:
Reconnect with the humour
One phone call
There’s some tricks above that you may not have heard of, so I’ll break it down for you.
Reconnect with the humour
If you’ve had an interaction with a women effective enough to gleam a phone number from her in the first place, chances are you used some kind of humour to build rapport. Even if you didn’t, now’s the time to create a callback, and remind her why she talked to you in the first place. The first step of how to text a girl is to make her think of you in real life.
Think about what was unique about when you met, or any observations you made in your approach. Maybe poke a bit of fun at her. However you do it, reconnecting with the energy that fuelled your initial interaction will be a great way to anchor warm, positive emotions towards you.
Now, the age old question – when should I text a girl back?
One phone call…
…at about 7pm a few days after reconnecting to establish a meet up time and date. 7pm gives most people time to have chilled out after work, and waiting a few days is standard for not appearing needy.
Make sure you are direct and assumptive – not a ‘what are you doing next week’ but a ‘I’ve got Wednesday – Friday at 8 free, how does that work for you?’ Assumptive language is attractive – it gives an air of knowing and going after what you want.
On that note, make sure your conversation is bright, confident and brief – pretend it’s a work phone call, if that helps. Brevity is key, and knowing when to stop is as important as knowing what to say. This helps you to assume control of the conversation and take ownership of the energy. Make sure you call her back outside where there is ambient noise. If you’re not out and about much, at least sound like it. Alternatively, have tasteful music playing in the background if you call her back when you’re at home.
After you’ve sorted out when to meet, and left a proactive impression of yourself, keep contact scarce. Respond if she texts you, sure, but do not feel the need to ‘check-in’ as you approach the date. That’s how too much text contact is seen – uncertainly and insecurity, and the need to validate that the date is actually happening. It radiates a lack of experience, which can be a huge turn-off.
Do, however, leave an opening for her to text you, through a simple confirmation – something like ‘See you at 8, meet you by the bar.’ So it’s there in writing, but that’s all. It’s no longer an issue of ‘is this happening’ – it’s ‘how do I create anticipation.’
You want to give the impression that you do this all the time, or even that she’s one of many. Project success and confidence, and assume that she wants to meet with you and keep the time.
Thing about asking a rhetorical question in real life, or making a wisecrack. You’re not directly soliciting a response, but ultimately you are looking for feedback, be it laughter or further conversation. A ping text is exactly that – not a question, but a comment design to extract a response without begging for it.
One I like to use is ‘OMG I just saw your twin’ – it shows you’re thinking about them enough to notice someone who looks like them, but not enough to be questioning whether the date is still going to happen.
It’s a chance to flex the old humour muscles, but remember to keep your distance a little – if you only get a short reply, don’t hammer it. It’s a casual nudge on the rapport, nothing more. But it will help to set up positive associations with you in her head.
This is a fantastic way to wake up the sleeping lions in your phone book – maybe numbers you picked up and never called back. A simple, sweet Happy New Year or Christmas text is going to surely stimulate some conversations on which to get rolling with an approach.
One of my personal favourites on Valentine’s Day is ‘wow, did you just send me flowers?’ It’s a great way to make a few jokes and open into further dialogue.
Sexy texts have to create atmosphere without the ability to turn a girl on with physical stimuli. It’s important, therefore, to create enough rapport that it is a natural progression and not a sharp, off-putting contrast. One step in the wrong direction of over-sexting or surprise-sexting can turn creepy very quickly.
FMO stands for ‘fear of missing out’ – it’s something we all suffer from time to time and it’s not helped by the world of social medial. Either way, you can use it to your advantage here to create desirability.
Send out an en masse text like “Thanks everyone for coming last night! It was an awesome evening. See you all next week.”
It’s a great way to make a girl think she’s missed out on something, and to make her ask more questions. Starting out, I used to only send these texts to girls whose number I picked up the week before. They hadn’t missed out on anything at all – I simply made it up as a way to spark interest.
You don’t have to go full Carry On, but a little risqué wordplay will do a great job of bridging the rapport-building you’ve been doing with the sexual element of the interaction.
It’s important that you only introduce this after some solid, foundation laying, otherwise you’ll just come off sleazy.
When texting evolves into sexting, the parameters are dramatically different. Be very aware of pacing – always read how she’s responding and match the tone and sexuality levels of her approach. Innuendos are there to suggest more than state, and to prompt her to ramp up the eroticism.
As far as sexting tips go, none are more pertinent than knowing your place. If you haven’t been on your first proper date yet, let her start. Build up a chatty tone, and maybe test the water by making a risque joke or two to see if she responds in kind. Don’t fire one-liners you read on Sickipedia at her, but be sure to take what she’s saying and adapt it to your joke.
Once the tension is amped up, you can elevate the innuendos and turn them into tangible scenarios involving you two.
You don’t have to rewrite 50 Shades of Grey (if you could, it’d be much appreciated) but if she’s getting graphic, there’s an onus on you to match it. Racing to this point, as I’ve very much been over above, is ill-advised. But keep up when she gets there.
There’s plenty of inspiration out there for you. Tumblr is a great source for erotic images and scenarios to stir conversation. For Pete’s sake, keep it tasteful though. Don’t send her porn. She won’t text back. But if you’re at the stage where you’re trading innuendos and flirting wildly, she’ll be ready for a little visual stimulus.
Alternatively, paint classy pictures of what you’d like to do with her. Start with an intimate portrait of the areas of her body you would kiss, and really visualise your lovemaking. Maybe use a particularly steamy moment in your past for inspiration, or failing that simply think about what she wants to hear. Use soft language, and a spellchecker.
This is not the be all and end all. When sex is an open topic, it means that you are both being open about wanting it, and while you still have to play it right in person, she’s thinking about sex. If you go as far as talking to each other about fantasies, all the better.
Don’t get lost in it though, and don’t lose sight of turning it into a real sexual encounter as soon as possible. Sexting and connecting through text is just the padding to make the most of your time not with her. It can become a convenient barrier to hide behind without making the effort to fulfil the anticipation.