BODY LANGUAGE ATTRACTION TIPS
You can stock up on suggestive lines and introductory games or try learning some good jokes, but social scientists estimate that about 7 percent of someone’s first impression is based on what they’re saying.
That makes how you stand, walk, and use your limbs and face is likely going to be how to make a woman find you attractive. In flirting, body language is an art portrays and bestows confidence.
Instead of practicing different chat up lines in the mirror, try practicing one line with your back straight and your head held up and then slouched, or once with folded arms and once with your arms folded by your side.
The differences in your speech will be notable. In spite of any of the upcoming tips, confident body language will only truly come across with a confident headspace.
With body language, men often forget one fundamental thing: it’s called body language for a reason. The onus is on you to notice and react to her physical cues whilst controlling your own.
What is body language but a dialogue, and a beautiful one at that? Master it, and your approach will be effortless.
The film Joy recently came out. It told the story of the woman who invented the Miracle Mop and made millions selling it on QVC-esque teleshopping channels. It also went some way to explaining the sales techniques used in teleshopping.
The sales representatives are tactile with their hands, picking up the item and turning it around or grandly gesturing towards it. They want the audience to imagine holding and using the objects they’re selling.
The idea is the same when approaching women in the field. While you don’t need to flail around like a cartoon Italian, it exudes great confidence to use your hands in slow, calm motions to make points and get excited.
Physical contact from the outset is also highly significant. A firm handshake or assured hug is a great way to make a warm connection with someone.
Your hands are also where sexually suggestive contact comes from, but that is more about reading and reacting.
Avoid your pockets like the plague. Not only does it give the ‘fenced-off’ hostile vibe shared by arm-crossing, but it also hunches you over, diminishing your frame.
Be sure to keep your chest open and your arms uncrossed, which includes while holding your drink. Keep it by your side.
Assured but restrained use of your hands and relaxed placement of your arms isn’t the be all and end all of body language attraction, but it helps.
It’s said that the eyes are the window to the soul, and what you’ve got going on upwards of the neck is the front door to positive body language.
The number of clients I see trying to smoulder their way into a woman’s heart with a scowl is remarkable. You are going out to convince girls that you are fun, and you should be heading out with an active and open enough mentality that smiling should come naturally to you.
It shows your teeth too, which is a pretty primal display of confidence and works wonders for your vocal projection.
Without a smile, even excited hand gestures will look like negative body language.
Keep your head up and your eyes forward, too. It leaves as much potential for eye contact as possible, as well as giving a sense that you know what you want. There are few things more attractive in a guy.
Make sure you’re groomed and smart. Keep your B. O. at bay, your teeth cleaned and maybe whitened in severe cases, and your hair neat. Find a hairstyle you’re comfortable with and keep it maintained.
These grooming tips seem superfluous to the discussion of flirting body language, but it helps to sell what you’re doing with the rest of your body and will serve to bring more confidence – regardless of how you look.
POSTURE AND GAIT
If you’re getting your hands, eyes, and head right, then vastly improved posture and gait should be your way of knowing it’s working.
Your head will naturally pull your shoulders back into a commanding, confident posture. Having loose, easy arms will improve your balance and stride.
The same way you would walk into a business meeting or job interview – briskly, boldly, chest puffed out like the asset you are – is the same way you should be approaching women.
Everything in your body is interconnected, so when you’re drawing yourself up and your shoulders back, you are increasing your lung capacity and your ability to project speech.
If you’re a sloucher, you may have to apply some extra pressure to this part of your body language to see results. Practice standing with your back flat against a wall. Stretch regularly or take up stretching, swimming or yoga, all activities that keep you broad and flexible.
READING AND REACTION
Picking up on female body language signs, and knowing how to read body language, is the most important aspect of it.
It’s how the state of attraction is transferred. The same way a skilled jazz improviser will know when to break into the next section by reading the rhythms of the band, so too will keenly observing body language cues help you escalate your encounter to the next level in a way that is comfortable for you both.
Eye contact is crucial. As you are being expected to make the approach, prolonged eye contact from a woman is an essential indicator she’s interested in a conversation. Meeting that gaze while you walk over is the way to secure it.
Don’t check your phone or pretend you were going over there anyway. Let your intent show through your eye contact.
If she’s doing any of the following while you’re talking, it shows she’s thinking about you as a potential sexual partner:
Lip fidgeting and chewing
Repeated eyelash fluttering
Smiling, nodding and eyebrow raising
Slowly playing with a strand of her hair, or stroking it (be wary of irritating hair pulling and sideways glances – she’s getting restless)
Stroking her neck, lips, or collarbone
Positioning herself advantageously – so, leaning in with her head on her hands to be nearer to you
Fiddling with jewellery, accessories, or nearby objects
Crossing and stroking her legs
You could be taking ownership of your bodily projection and still miss the mark if you don’t pick up on this “does he like me?” body language.
Knowing how to read body language is simply part of the conversation. You can tell what makes a woman smile and stay on that topic for a while.
Notice what makes her body language withdraw a little and make an active attempt to ask her about herself and bring her back to smiling.
I hope that’s at least made you think about how you’re coming across even as a passing pedestrian.
For more world-worn advice and in-depth tuition on self-image and confidence, please click here to find out about my dating and lifestyle mentoring.