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How to talk to girls

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With my clients on my 7 Day Course, I often find that their primary struggle is striking up and maintaining conversation.

Fluent conversation is an excellent way to create a relaxed atmosphere, and touching and flirting are a natural consequence, and one of the key ways to demonstrate your personal brand.

That is what women buy into when they show they are interested.

Don’t worry too much about specific things to talk about with a girl, and focus more on the pace of the conversation, making her feel good, and representing yourself as truthfully as possible.

Follow these steps, and you should be in with a shout.


It’s one thing to be able to talk to girls online, but approaching girls face-to-face takes a lot of spark and a sense of fun.


We get into bad habits when we talk, such as mumbling, talking too fast, and excessive swearing. These can act as barriers when communicating with anyone. When talking to girls, it flags up as a sign of ailing confidence.

Speak with pride and make sure there’s life in your voice. Don’t be afraid to laugh and smile. Smiling lifts the corners of your mouth and automatically gives you a relaxed and amiable expression.

Do you hate the sound of your voice on an answering machine? Most people do. So record yourself. Find a tone that suits you and fits your personal brand.

Don’t spend so much time fretting over how to talk to a girl you like that you forget to sound like the best you.


Why should anyone else believe in your brand if you don’t? You have to assume she wants to talk to you.

How to get girls is the same as how to secure leads, how to give a presentation, or how to succeed in a job interview. Make them sell themselves to you. You have to believe you are of value before going into the approach.

How to approach a girl is with a sense of familiarity.

Positivity attracts positivity, so be outgoing and bold, and believe that you hold social currency. The fact that you’re walking up to a woman puts you above a surprising majority of guys. Knowing this is the key to triggering a killer conversation.


They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and they’re not far wrong. Locking eye contact is the best way to talk to girls and show you mean business.

Being able to look a woman in the eye and tell her she looks beautiful is the key to making her feel special.

If she feels special, she’ll have the same confidence with which you approached her.

Eye contact is also a great way to move from speaking to kissing. A kiss can be lined up by triangulating your gaze from her eyes to her lips. You can suggest and communicate a great deal with your eyes alone.


If you limit your questions to ‘yes’ or ‘no’ mundanities, you’re going to find that the conversation hits a dead end in due course. Ask open questions that encourage her to give a longer response. For example, if you’re in a bar or club, instead of:

“Are you here celebrating something tonight?”


“What brings a girl like yourself out tonight then?” or “How come you ended up here tonight then?”

You should find that her answer opens other conversational doors for you either to ask more questions, or make observations. Learn as much about her as you can.

Humans are social animals, and you don’t have to be the biggest one or the most efficient at killing to prove you are the alpha. A woman doesn’t want to see that you know how to talk to women, she wants to see how you function socially and that means being interested in the individuals in your environment.

Asking open questions shows a woman you want to know about her, and that makes her feel special.


Don’t worry too much about what to talk about with a girl you like. She doesn’t want a rehashed list of topics you got from a blog like this one. What do girls like to talk about? Themselves.

That’s not to imply that all women are selfish. Most people’s favourite topic is themselves. Giving her room to present herself at her own pace relaxes her, and that’s when you can start elaborating on your own life and interests.

You should be comfortable enough in your conviction that this comes across in how you’re holding yourself and talking to her, even if you’re not directly talking about yourself.

Give her a chance to feel confident and safe being genuine around you.


The golden step in how to get any girl to like you is creating an easy, jovial atmosphere. Just have fun, be outrageous, and exude positivity and openness, and she will laugh from sheer comfort.

Poke gentle fun at her or make observations about people in the room. You don’t have to be a dick. Just notice things and play games. Tell her embarrassing or silly stories.

I have a friend who very confidently retells a story to almost every new girl he meets. The story is simply: “So I went skiing once and shat myself.” It almost always gets a laugh and at least 80% of the time a phone number.

Pretend to notice someone and say “Oh hey… wait, sorry, I thought I saw my hair from six years ago.”

A question that also works wonders for me is “Would you rather be attacked by lots of duck-sized horses or a horse-sized duck?”

Make her imagination run wild and try to lead the conversation into a direction that involves light touching. Playful touches on the elbow or shoulder, mock dance moves or even high fives work a treat.


It’s easy to get so wrapped up in a conversation when you know what to talk about with a girl you like that you forget why you’re there. Get closer through touching.

Remember that talking isn’t the be all and end all, and if you’re at a public event and she’s been talking to you for a long time, having just met you, it’s likely she wants more.

Let your intentions be clear and to keep your confidence high.

Knowing what to talk to girls about is all well and good, but knowing how to manage the flow of a conversation is one of the most potent aphrodisiacs.

How to talk to girls at parties

While talking to women anywhere is an art form, engaging in conversation at parties uses that same skillset in a different way.

Adjust your mindset

If you’re going to head out to a party, avoid going out with the mentality that you’re only at the party to talk to women.

Socialising should be about having fun and meeting interesting people, not about “pulling” or taking a woman home. The wonderful paradox of this mentality is that it will actually make you better at talking to women.

So instead of “talking to girls at parties,” talk to everyone in the room. Strike up rapport with the doorman and bar staff. Chat with new guys and girls alike. Open with large groups of people.

The most important aspect of working out how to talk to girls at parties is actually not thinking about talking to girls.

Have a wingman

A wingman can be a huge boost to conversational zest with women.

They can be there to push you into conversations you may not have felt confident about, as well as propping you up and adding fire to the interaction.

Find a guy that you trust and have great rapport with, and head out with them. You’ll find yourself getting into exciting encounters just because of the social momentum of having someone else on your team.

Be a gentleman

Ladies love a gentleman, as archaic as it may seem. While a party might not seem like the right location to pull out the old-school charm, this makes it perfect for doing so.

Therefore, offer to get in rounds of drinks and cover a taxi home if you end up connecting with a particular woman at the party.

Pull out a chair for her and offer to take her coat.

These are basic matters of courtesy, but so many men have forgotten this that remembering these simple steps will help you stand out from the crowd.

Give compliments

Compliments are a simple way to spread positivity and make a person feel great. That should be your goal at a party – spreading as many good vibes as possible.

You want to be the guy anyone feels comfortable around. And throwing out compliments is an easy way to make sure that happens.

Make sure compliments are genuine, sweet, and detailed. This means approaching parties with the mindset of seeing the good in everyone.

By all means dish out compliments in conversations with women, but don’t restrict them to just these interactions. Be great to everyone, and women will naturally want to talk to you.

To master the art of conversation with women, why not explore on my 7 Day Course? Click here for more info.

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