Attraction is automatic, evolutionary and very powerful feeling that can be stimulated through plenty of factors.
Speaking to women should be fun and exciting. If you’re not getting the best results, let me show you the fundamentals of what women find attractive.
Knowing how to stoke attraction means having the following down pat.
• MAKING YOUR INTENTIONS CLEAR
• BEING BETTER
How to attract a girl
I will break down these crucial aspects of attraction so that you understand how important and how simple each one is. To know how to woo a woman, you have to woo yourself first.
You could be the richest, most hench man in the room but without pride and confidence, you’re still only about halfway to knowing how to be attractive to women.
This is not about bragging, or being flashy, or lying about your achievements. Attraction is about giving the impression of success, and of fearlessness. As I see with many of the great men on my 7 Day Course, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You will improve your self-image and grant yourself more opportunities by having a positive narrative in your head.
Focus on upright posture, a driven stride, and relaxed body language. Don’t do too much with your hands and make eye contact.
If you are not a naturally confident person, you can ‘fake it until you make it.’ Dress a little smarter than you normally would, and act the part. Behaviours are learned, and if you stay in your comfort zone, you will not learn how to present yourself with confidence.
Self-respect is not only about how to attract girls. It’s how to avoid being creepy and how to hold your head up high in the face of rejection.
It’s also a bold and forthright way to approach the world, remaining unwavering in your convictions and unfalteringly true to yourself.
Having a handle on your opinions and beliefs shows that you place your interests, or the interests of a cause or passion, above the woman’s role in your life.
Knowing that she will always have to compete with something else, be it your work schedule, your exercise regiment or your art or pet project, will drive her into direct competition with it.
What are women attracted to? Your assertiveness and the conviction you apply to what makes you happy, or wealthy, or fulfilled.
Respect these, and limit your time with her to invest in them, and you’re showing that you know what you want and go after it. Having your terms and standards makes them sell themselves to you and women love to be challenged.
Knowing when you’re overstaying your welcome, or being manipulated into buying drinks, etc. and moving on to another woman, is another key way to preserve and present self-respect.
Walk away with dignity is an important skill, and if other women see you doing so, it’s a great way of showing how to be attractive to girls in spite of being rejected in the same room.
If you dither when suggesting where to move on to, she’s not going to go there with you. Likewise, if you’re hesitant in the run-up to sex, she’s going to switch off.
Know where to go, what to do and how to assert desire through language.
For example, instead of:
“Would you perhaps fancy going to this new Thai place in Ealing tonight? Or another night. We can go whenever.”
“Let’s go to this amazing new Thai place tomorrow night, it’s only in Ealing. I’m going straight for the green curry.”
You’ll find that assumptive language comes naturally to those with self-respect and confidence, but it’s used in marketing for a reason.
This step is crucial, for example, when treading the icy waters of how to seduce a married woman. She’s been used to umm-ing and aah-ing over dinner menus, which movie to watch, and where to go on holiday for perhaps a decade or two now.
What attracts women who are used to every basic decision being reduced to debate? Someone who can take the lead.
MAKING YOUR INTENTIONS CLEAR
With confidence, self-respect and decisiveness covered, showing your sexuality is the closing step in attracting women. Don’t be afraid to show a girl you want to have sex with her – you’ve done the hard work.
Start with less overtly suggestive places like the base of her back or the tops of her arms, and then move to more erogenous areas like the nape of the neck, face, and shoulders.
Women love men who see their positives, so compliments are also a major component in how to be attractive to girls.
Comment on their dress, jewellery, or any features that genuinely strike you. Don’t go overboard, but make sure she knows that you think of her as a potential sex partner.
Know your boundaries and never go further than you are invited – and no means no – but frame your interaction sexually or romantically by leading in natural conversation and creating an easy but flirty atmosphere.
Women know very much how to attract guys the same way, and proud sexuality is often dismissed as sluttiness. They are simply making use of a tool than most guys need to get more on board with.
What attracts men to women? Are you going to be attracted to a girl who doesn’t invest in herself? Sure, looks carry both sexes a certain distance but if she isn’t committed to being the best version of her, it’s going to grind to a halt. The same applies to you.
The way to get into all of the above states of mind is through hard work and self-realisation. A woman doesn’t owe you attraction. You have to earn it.
Build you for you. Pursue your interests, learn new things, get in shape. Focus on getting the best figures at work. Pick up an instrument. Write something. Push yourself.
What attracts women to men is different from what attracts men to women, but most relationships fall apart because one or both parties weren’t fulfilling their potential.
Groom yourself, be hygienic, stay healthy and be adventurous. That’s how to build new connections with anyone.