Now, you’ll find some similarly titled articles on this blog. ‘How to get a girl to like you’ ‘how to talk to a girl’ etc. You might think that how to attract a girl involves the same material, and you couldn’t be more wrong.
Attraction is automatic, evolutionary and very powerful feeling that can be stimulated through plenty of other factors outside of what you’re wearing or saying. You know why some women feel like they have us wrapped around their little fingers? Because women know how to attract men, and men in general are terrible at fighting it because of low confidence and low self-esteem – essentially feeling that you have to reciprocate those feelings or let that woman manipulate you as another opportunity may not present itself.
That’s why those men who know how to attract women have the following down pat:
4) MAKING YOUR INTENTIONS CLEAR
5) BEING BETTER
I will break down these crucial aspects of attraction so that you understand how important and how simple each one is. To know how to woo a woman, you have to woo yourself first.
You could be the richest, henchest man in the room but without pride and confidence you’re still only about halfway to knowing how to be attractive to women.
This is not about bragging, or being flashy, or lying about your achievements. This is about giving the impression of success, and of fearlessness. And I guarantee, as I see with many of the great men on my 7 Day Course, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Not that you will become a millionaire overnight by projecting yourself with such guile, but you will at the very least become confident.
Focus on upright posture, a driven stride and relaxed body language. Don’t do too much with your hands. Make eye contact.
If you are not a naturally confident person, you can ‘fake it til you make it.’ Dress a little smarter than you normally would, and act the part. Behaviours are learned, and if you stay in your comfort zone you will not learn how to present with confidence.
Self respect is not only how to attract girls, it’s how to avoid creepy and how to hold your head up high in the face of rejection. It’s also a bold and forthright way to approach the world: unwavering in your convictions and unfalteringly true to yourself.
Have a handle on your opinions and beliefs shows that you place your own interests, or the interests of a cause or passion, above the woman’s role in your life. And knowing that she will always have to compete with something else, be it your work schedule, your exercise regiment or your art or pet project, will drive her into direct competition with it.
What are women attracted to? Your assertiveness and the conviction you apply to what makes you happy, or wealthy, or fulfilled. Respect that, and limit your time with her to invest in that, and you’re locking into how to get any girl going for you. When thinking what attracts women to men, realise that having your own terms and standards
Knowing when you’re overstaying your welcome, or being manipulated into buying drinks etc. and moving on to another woman, is another key way to preserve and present self-respect. Knowing not to humiliate yourself and walk away with dignity is an important skill, and if other women see you doing that it it’s a great way of showing how to be attractive to girls in spite of being rejected in the same room.
If you dither when suggesting where to move on to, she’s not going to go there with you. Likewise, if you’re hesitant in the run-up to sex, she’s going to go dryer than an aardvark’s back. Know where to go, what to do and how to assert thatcher desire through language.
For example, instead of:
“Would you perhaps fancy going to this new Thai place in Ealing tonight? Or another night. We can go whenever.”
“Let’s go to this amazing new Thai place tomorrow night, it’s only in Ealing. I’m going straight for the green curry.”
You’ll find that assumptive language comes naturally to those with self-respect and confidence, but it’s used in marketing for a reason. In my article about talking to girls, I mention open questions, and leaving girls enough wiggle room to talk instead of you.
Do the opposite when making decisions in front of a girl.
This step is crucial, for example, when treading the icy waters of how to seduce a married woman. She’s been used to umm-ing and aah-ing over dinner menus, which movie to watch and where to go on holiday for perhaps a decade or two now. What attracts women who are used to every basic decision being reduced to a democratic clusterf*ck? Someone who can take the lead.
MAKING YOUR INTENTIONS CLEAR
With confidence, self-respect and decisiveness covered, showing your sexuality is the closing step in attracting women. Don’t be afraid to show a girl you want to have sex with her – you’ve done the hard work. Start with less obvious places like the base of her back or the tops of her arms, and then move to more focused places like the nape of the neck, face and shoulders.
Women love men who see their positives, so compliments are also a major component in how to be attractive to girls. Comment on their dress, jewellery or any features that genuinely strike you. Don’t go overboard, but make sure she knows that you think of her as a potential sex partner.
Know your boundaries and never go further than you are invited – and no means no – but frame your interaction in a sexual or romantic way by leading in natural conversation and creating an easy but flirty atmosphere.
Women know very much how to attract guys the same way, and proud sexuality is often dismissed as sluttiness. They are simply making use of a tool than most guys need to get more on board with.
What attracts men to women? Are you going to be attracted to a girl who doesn’t invest in herself? Sure, looks carry both sexes a certain distance but if she is committed to being the best version of her, it’s going to grind to a halt. The same applies to you.
The way to get into all of the above states of mind is through hard work and self-realisation. A woman doesn’t owe you attraction. You have to earn it.
So don’t think about women until you’re out and in the right frame of mind. Build you for you. Pursue your interests, learn new things, get in shape. Focus on getting the best figures at work. Pick up an instrument. Write something. Push yourself.
What attracts women to men is different from what attracts men to women, but most relationships fall apart because one or both parties weren’t fulfilling their potential.
Groom yourself, be hygienic, stay healthy and be adventurous. That’s how to attract a man, woman, employer, friend, client, or general human being.