Kiss and Tell Podcast – Turning things Sexual with Simon Sayz

June 3, 2013 - 60 minutes read

how to be sexual

On this Kiss and Tell Podcast I bring Simon Sayz in on the call to discuss and strip down what it takes to be a sexual man. Simon is a great trainer to work with and is consistently getting rock solid feedback from students that have been privileged enough to train under him.

Simon is soon to be launching his new website so keep your eyes peeled guys.

Topics covered:

  • Geek to sexual seducer – Simon’s journey
  • The mindset of the sexual man
  • Character traits of a sexual man
  • What is sexual confidence ?
  • Verbal sexual escalation
  • Simon Sayz’s Kiss & Tell


Johnny:  Hello guys and welcome to the Kiss and Tell Podcast. I have got special guest Simon Sayz on the show. Now, I can’t tell you enough about Simon. Simon is a great trainer. He’s been getting fantastic feedback from all the students that I know he’s been working with and his field of expertise really is sexual escalation. Is there anything you wanna expand on there, Simon?
Simon:  Yeah, hey everyone. Like Johnny says my name is Simon Sayz. I’m a dating and life coach for I’ve been in the game for about 5 years and I’ve been picking game, pick-up, whatever you want to call it, for the last 3 years. I’ve worked with more than 200 students on bootcamps, one-on-one training, the Seven Day Master y pick-up course, and on Skype because there’s a lot of guys in the world that I can’t get to. So I do some training on Skype as well. Like Johnny says my style of game, I call it Natural, Direct, Authentic Sexual Man Game. My approach, everything I do is sexual escalation. How to be a confident man and know how to express yourself as a sexual, confident man when you’re dealing with the opposite sex. I believe game is 70% confidence and inner game and 30% techniques, tips, tactics and all that stuff. So, I specialise in the 70& which is sexual confidence and inner game. And on top of that I’ll also give you tips, tricks and techniques as well.

J:  Yeah okay, Simon, but before we get on to all of that offering the guy some techniques and having the right approach and mindset, before we start talking about that, where did you come from Simon? What’s your background? I think that’ll be good for the listeners to hear so they can relate to your story.

S:  Well, just like a lot of guys, I was at some point in my life I was just trying to learn this stuff as well. I was frustrated, really.  I was depressed. I was angry because I just couldn’t get success with women. I came from a background where I was very introverted, very shy, zero social skills whatsoever. I came from a religious background so while I was growing up until I was like 18, I never had any friends. I think I had about 2 friends in my 18 years of life. My parents were really strict Catholics, they tried to choose the friends I would go out with.

J:  Wow.

S:  Yeah, so, I didn’t have any friends whatsoever. No social skills whatsoever. I would just come home from school and study. Study, study, study. I was doing well in my studies but everything else in my life was just falling apart. It was when I went to university and I left home for the first time that I didn’t have that constant supervision of my parent’s and stuff. I realised something was wrong. I just couldn’t talk to people. Women, men, I just couldn’t make friends. I just couldn’t express myself. It was a nightmare. I hit rock bottom in my life. I was depressed. I was lonely. I was frustrated.

J:  You hit depression?

S:  Yeah I hit depression to the point where I was thinking, this is not worth it. Life is not worth living, you know? In university you see all your friends going out, having fun. Getting girls, having sex. And you think why can’t I be like those people? Why I cant I be the cool guy? Why can’t I just have a girlfriend?

J:  So you’re saying you was quite an introverted sort of guy. You was just resorting to staying in while all your friends were going out.

S:  Yeah I think for the first year of university that’s when you’re being social and going out and meeting people and whatever. I would just stay in. I would just go to my lectures, come back, study, study, study. You know? That was what I did. No friends whatsoever. It’s depressing thinking about it right now. So I had a friend who was geeky like me, and he just started to change over time, the way he dressed, the way he was, he had more friends and I just couldn’t understand it. One day I just asked him, what’s going on mate? You seem different, what’s going on? And he told me about this thing he’d been reading about on the internet called the game.

J:  So he was the one to open the door for you on this whole community?

S:  Yeah he’s the guy. Basically I discovered it after him just because I went to this house one day. I wanted to pick up my maths textbook or something from his house or something. And he invited me over when I got there with drink. So I asked him what’s been happening. He was telling me all these crazy stories about what he’s been getting up to. Then I saw this book on his sofa which looked like a big bible. It was black. Cos I grew up reading the bible so I thought, has this guy been reading the bible? What’s going on?

J:  Quite the opposite, right?

S:  Yeah, so I picked it up, I just opened it up and I realised it wasn’t a bible, I was like, woah, what’s all this? And he explained, he said yeah that’s a book I’ve read called The Game. I’m sure many people have read the game. And I was like wow that’s interesting. I had to see if I could borrow it, he was like yeah. So I took it home. Read it. I just couldn’t put it down. It opened my eyes. I was like wow this is the answer, this is what I’ve been looking for. I remember I just went out the next night and I just tried the lines that were in the book. And to my surprise they were working. People were responding. People who ignored me, didn’t know I existed were asking my name. It was like wow, I’m on to something here.

J:  So you saw the change straight away, you thought, hang on, I’m on to something here. I’ve broke the pattern.

S:  Yeah exactly. And at that point, I thought it was the lines in the book but what it was, was I had the confidence. But the lines in the book worked. So it allowed me to communicate better and just start the whole process. So after that I turned up to a bootcamp, the mystery method. I read a bunch of stuff, I met a bunch of guys and over the course of five years, I’ve just been developing myself to the point where like now actually  I’m confident in what I’m doing and I can share my knowledge and experience with other people. And I’m passionate about sharing my experience with other people cos I know where they’re coming from, I’ve been there myself, so I’m really passionate about that.

J:  Is there any particular thing that really sticks out in your time? You’ve been teaching for over 3 years now, is it? What is the one thing that you’d say you are most particularly proud of, as a trainer?

S:  To me it’s just to be able to offer my skills as a trainer. These guys come to me, they’re not happy. They’re depressed. They’re angry. No one wants to socialise. No girlfriends in their life. They can be mentally healthy, they can be successful in their business and in their career but if they can’t make that connection with the women they want in their life they feel like life is not worth living. So yeah just to be able to work with other guys see them transform. And help them a little bit to achieve their goals. And every guy comes to me with different goals. Some of them just want to have fun, meet a lot of women, date a little bit. Some of them want a girlfriend. Some of them want to actually find a wife, get married. Recently, one of my students about three months ago, this guy came up to me and he actually wanted to learn the game but also to find his wife. I think he was like 50 or something.  And about three months later he found the women that he wanted and they got engaged and I was invited to the engagement party.

J:  Wow. That’s something to be proud of right there.

S:  Yeah and he was happy and his girlfriend was happy and everyone around that room was happy and you realise this is amazing, this is like life transforming. And these are the kind of things that you’re proud of, you know.

J:  Yeah. That’s a fantastic story. Alright, well let’s move on to the focus of this podcast then. We wanna talk about sexual escalation here. We wanna talk about how to do it successfully. What is the correct way? Let’s explore the mindset.

S:  Well the thing about sexual escalation is, a lot of guys out there when they’re learning this game, they learn how to start a conversation using different openers, how to transition, how to get in to a conversation, how to get phone numbers, text game, all that stuff, but what’s missing from their game is sexual escalation which means just being a sexual, confident man and expressing that with women and what they find attractive. So it’s just expressing your sexuality. First of all you have to accept that I am a sexual man, I find women sexually attractive and you don’t apologise for it, you don’t explain yourself, you don’t feel embarrassed or guilty about it. Once you get to that point, you wanna start learning how to express that in a comfortable way, you know? And a lot of guys who I teach game, they know everything about the game but they just don’t know how to be a man and that’s something that I had to really teach myself.

J:  And what is that? All that, being a man. That’s something I’ve often heard you say when teaching students, and when you’re doing you’re talks. You often say, you have to be a man, l you have to bring out the man in you. Now, could you break that down for a bit, Simon?

S:  Yeah definitely. I know it’s a vague term being thrown around but being a man, you need to know what it means to be a man. What are the qualities of being a man, as a man you are a leader. Okay I’ll give you four qualities of being a man. As a man, you’re honest. People in the community talk about direct game, indirect game. I talk about honesty, which translates to direct game. So the man is honest and upfront about his intentions, interests and desires. In terms of dealing with the opposite sex but also in terms of dealing with friends, family, business. So a man is very honest and direct and straightforward. So he lets the second party know what he’s interested in but he also tries to make a win/win situation. But also a man takes risks. A man is a risk taker in your life with the opposite sex you got to take chances. You see something you want you go for it, you know. If you’re gonna play the lottery you’re taking a chance, you’re taking a risk. Are you gonna win if you’re not gonna play? You have to play and you have to take a chance. So a man is a risk taker but also a man is controversial. When I say controversial I don’t mean fights arguments and all that kind of stuff. I mean as a man you gotta be strong in your beliefs, in who you are, in your identity.  And so this is my beliefs, this is what I live for, and then you present yourself that to the world. So let’s look at world leaders. The Prime Minister David Cameron and Barrack Obama. Those people are controversial figures. They stand up what they believe and they are who they are. You may not agree with his politics and you may not agree with what they do. But they are controversial figures because they divide opinion. You either vote for them or you don’t. A lot of men are afraid to be controversial and polarising especially when dealing with the opposite sex. They want everyone to like them, but you’re not doing yourself any favours as being a man. But also as a man you gotta have confidence. Everyone knows when dealing with women.

J:  That’s very vague isn’t it? I’m sure you can break it down for us Simon. But I mean, you know, to say a women likes a man with confidence, what is that? Are you saying, a man that’s confident is a man who’s honest to himself, a man who’s a leader and he goes out and gets what he wants? Is that what you’re saying?

S:  That’s part of it. Confidence is a term that gets tossed around every now and again. A woman likes confidence. But what is it? I think everybody has their own definition of confidence. The dictionary says confidence is something else. But one thing that I’ve learnt over the years and one thing I teach my students, the definition that I give them, especially when dealing with the opposite sex and being a sexual man and expressing your sexuality, confidence  Is seeing what you want, seeing the type of women that you want. Approaching, being honest about your interest and desires, taking a risk and being yourself. What I mean by that is show her who you are, what you believe in, what you stand for, and see what happens. That’s confidence. So confidence is when you come to a place in your mind that I’ll go for what I want, I’m gonna be honest about it I’m gonna be who I am, I’m gonna express who I am, and. Whatever happens, great.  If I get a result, great. If it doesn’t happen, great. If it doesn’t work out, we don’t cry about it, we don’t get depressed, we don’t commit suicide. As long as I’m taking those actions. I say to my students, you can walk in a room full of beautiful women and you can approach all of them. You are being honest about your intentions. You’re being confident. You’re being controversial, be polarising. And all of those women can say no, not interested, and you can still walk out of that room being confident. That’s what I mean by confidence.

J:  Okay, we’ve got a bit about the mindset there, then. Let’s say we’re having a conversation with a woman, things are going okay, she’s asking us questions, she’s showing us that she’s interested. Now, at what point are you gonna go, you know what I’m gonna just flick the switch, I’m just gonna turn my sexual game on?

S:  Ideally you want to do it from the beginning.

J:  So it’s more like, you’re talking about going sexual straight away. I know we talked a little about the mindset there but for me, what we’ve just talked about there, okay, I’m gonna approach this girl. I’ve got the mindset of I’m gonna talk to her and then I’m gonna get sexual. But my question is at what point do you tell your students to switch it to sexual?

S:  I don’t tell my students to switch it to sexual I tell them to be sexual. There’s a difference. Don’t go sexual. Being sexual shouldn’t be something you do, it’s who you are.

J:  I like that.

S:  So when you think about getting sexual and being sexual, you’ve missed the point. So it’s who you are. I’m sexual, I am a sexual man. I just express myself as a sexual man. I express what I think and what I feel. I express that. So, instead of turning it on and off, you don’t turn it on and off, it’s not like a light switch.

J:  But what I’m saying is, at what point do you express that? Cos yeah you are the sexual guy, you are the sexual guy in the conversation, you’re quite content with that feeling but how are we gonna express that to that woman. Is there a way of doing that that makes her feel safe and doesn’t come across as creepy?

S:  Yeah, well ideally you want to express yourself as asexual man from the beginning. You start small There are two ways of sexually escalating; there is verbal and non-verbal escalation. So verbal is when you approach a woman and you say I just saw you, you look nice, you look beautiful, I’d love to get to know you, when you say those kind of things to women you are sexually escalating

J:  You are showing your intent.

S:  As soon as you say that you are escalating from the beginning.  you are establishing the parameters of the conversation as soon as you stat the conversation like okay here’s  how it’s gonna be, I’m interested in you as a man is interested in a woman, I’m attracted to you, if you’re okay with that, the conversation will progress.

J:  That’s interesting cos you do something similar to what I do. At a certain point I just put the game on the table. You’re attracted to me I’m attracted to you let’s just get it out the way with. It’s very, very similar, you’re just point out the attraction, so she’s just becoming consciously aware, right?

S:  Right and you have to realise men and women are very similar, were looking for the same thing. We want love, we want companionship, good times, sex, all that stuff. We’re all looking for the same things. So dating becomes a game of trying to figure out who’s right for us, who’s compatible for us. One of the main problems men have is they don’t think women want what they want so they think they have to manipulate the situation in getting what they want.

J:  Don’t you think that, believe, all women want to have sex, of course, but what’s often discussed is what can be put in place to go, you know what? You don’t have to feel guilty about this, or how do we lay out a new path where they don’t have to wake up in the morning and think oh my god I can’t believe I’ve just don’t that, or my friends are gonna think I’m such a slut or all these sort of things. How do we make her feel safe about getting to that safe?

S:  Yeah one thing that’s already been established is that okay we are both after the same thing. Basically women like what we want and men can talk about sex and all this other stuff to our friends but women feel like if they do the same thing exactly their friends will judge them. So we have to take that into consideration. So yeah we don’t wanna make them feel easy or sluts or cheap, this is where the techniques come in to. So for example just to give the girl a compliment in the beginning you are escalating the situation further, so you escalate with your words the things you say. For example I always say to my students, when you talk to a woman, always be comfortable using the word sexy.

J:  Because what you’re actually doing is using the techniques to escalate up the ladder purely just by the words that are coming out of your mouth.

S:  Yeah exactly, so as we know human communication is 90% non-verbal, you know voice tone and body language and all that. 10% is words. So let’s use our words to sexually escalate and move things forward. So yeah, giving a girl a compliment, you’re sexually escalating. Telling a girl she’s sexy, you’re telling her that you find her sexually attractive. Also I like to do a lot of verbal push pulls where I let them know my intentions. Sort of like a statement of intent. But I push then I pull away. For example I’ll say to a girl, yeah I just met you and I think you’re beautiful, I’m very turned on right now. But I can’t tell you that right now. Or I just say, you are so sexy, you’ve got sexy eyes, it’s like they’re trying to seduce me, stop doing that, it’s not gonna work on me.  I call it the escalation cycle, whereby you mix normal regular conversation with spice, sexual escalation. For example, you could be talking about something mutual like what they do, when you’re talking to a woman, you could be talking about something she does for a living or her hobbies or whatever. At that point you can just dip in to or you can just pin the interaction to something sexual. She might say something like, I’m a doctor, then you can say something like, I love doctors, I find them sexy. I always watch scrubs on TV. Those female doctors, they are quite sexy. Then you are escalating. Or you can do a push pull, whereby if I was talking about something else, you can just look at her breasts and say sorry i just have to stop you for a second, you have really nice boobs. Sorry, continue.

J:  Yeah, yeah.

S:  Or you can use something like, you can show your intentions, then take it away. You can say something like you got really sexy eyes, they’re so seductive, it’s like they’re talking to me right now. Stop doing that, stop it. So you escalate and then you blame it on them.

J:  Sure, sure. I call that teasing.

S:  Yeah exactly. You are the one who escalates and makes the move but you blame it on them.

J:  So Simon, how do you know that she’s actually wanting to go further with you.

S:  Well you just have to calibrate. By calibrate I mean look at her responses. Sexual escalation should be fun and playful and cheeky. If she’s smiling and laughing and punching you in the arm it’s all a good sign that she is receptive and you can continue pushing forward. But if you get a negative response whereby she looks kind of like upset then you just have to back down a little bit and then build some more conversation rapport and then try again.

J:  So that can be a potential obstacle, really, that we’re looking at there. You’re saying she doesn’t react very well so you gotta dip back in to comfort and try again later. But what about when we talk about a bit further down the road. We’re talking about you’ve actually got them in your place and you’re just experiencing a bit of resistance.

S:  Well, LMR, that’s what I call it; last minute resistance. Provided you’ve done the necessary spec, you’ve built comfort, you like each other, she knows that whatever this is that’s going on, whatever is developing between you, it’s some kind of sexual or romantic relationship. You know it, she knows it, and it’s moving in that kind of direction. Women are not stupid. They know once they come to your house they know what’s gonna happen. But obviously their logic kicks in and they don’t wanna feel easy and slutty so there’s a bunch of techniques you can use. Firstly once she gets to your place you just need to relax. Take your time with the seduction. You don’t wanna jump on them as soon as they get through the door. Just relax. What I wanna do is when I’ve got company I wanna create an effect that disrupts the logic mind. For example I will put on the television, put some music on the television, put some music on my iPod. In my house I have a lot of interesting stuff just lying around that she can just look around and shell find something to disrupt her. What I do nowadays is I take down my clock from the wall. Cos you don’t want her to look at the clock and think wow look at the time I got to go.

J:  Yeah you’re doing exactly what I do. It’s all about creating that bubble. You don’t wanna have anything around in the environment that could just switch her back to her daily schedule or remind her of her routine thinking, what am I even doing fooling around with this guy right now?

S:  Exactly, exactly. You wanna make sure your bedroom or your house is working for you. That’s the first step. The second step is just to relax. If you’re nervous or you’re too excited you might lose it. So just relax. Third of all you wanna steal their frame. You wanna be the girl and let her be the guy. I wanna say things like, I know you’re coming in to my house but you’re not gonna get lucky. It’s not gonna happen. I’m wearing my ugliest boxers, to make sure nothing happens tonight. You wanna play with her frame. Anything a girl would say to you, to give you resistance, you wanna say to her. If you start making out with her, you are the one who should pull away first time. Say, I don’t know, I think it might be too early.

J:  Yeah, I got a friend who takes it to the extreme and what happens is, after a date he invites a girl back to her house and then what he does, he sleeps on the sofa. So he goes, you can have my bed I’m sleeping on the sofa. Nothing happens on the first night. So what happens is she goes to sleep in his bed, he’s sleeping on the sofa. And what happens is, it actually comes to the extreme of she walks down the hall and actually wakes him up cos she wants the sex.

S:  Yeah exactly cos we change what’s running away from us.

J:  That’s an interesting point. That’s the money, there. We chase what’s running away from us. That’s a great point.

S:  Yeah so the woman is usually the one who is running away from us and putting in the resistance. But you are the guy running away and putting in the resistance, then it’s something strange when a hot girl senses that this guy is running away, is putting up resistance. She’s never felt that before in her life. She’s like what? Usually all the guys just jump on me. You see? But also one thing I’ve discovered over the years is when a girl comes over to your place don’t try to have sex with her that night, have sex with her in the morning. We may sleep in the same bed but I just cuddle her, I don’t even make a move. She’s expecting me to but I don’t. And then in the morning when you try to escalate it happens smoothly, no resistance whatsoever.

J:  Yeah you’re a bit of a nasty one. You let it play on their mind for the whole night, what it could be like.

S:  Yeah, exactly, you know. When it comes to escalation you have to make some mistakes at some point. If somebody teaches you this stuff or you read it somewhere, then obviously you succeed faster. But for me, I had to make all the mistakes myself. And then I had to figure everything out. So that experience alone allows me to succeed every time. So, yeah. You come up with these little tricks that you do. You gotta set up your place properly. Have wine, have music, everything. Have condoms in your house, have a nice clean place. Have your place to work for you. But also, once you’re there, relax. When I’m with a girl, from beginning to end my mindset is: I have something that you want and we know that you want it. You are in my place right now. You’re wearing that dress. So I’m gonna make you work for it. I’m gonna make you chase it. Whereas a lot of guys they look at a girl and they say you’ve got something that I want.

J:  Yeah, again, it’s all about reframing it so you are the prize.

S:  I am the prize, yeah. If you are looking at a girl and you think, you have something I want, and you’re chasing, you become a beggar in the streets, always chasing people for money. So you wanna just relax. Know that, okay, she wants what she wants. You know. It’s gonna happen. But it happens on your turn. If it gets that far then you know that she wants you. Otherwise she wouldn’t be at your place at that point.

J:  So just always assume it’s on. It is on.

S:  It is on. Exactly. It is on. So yeah once she gets to your place, the last part of the seduction itself can be tricky but if you know what you’re doing, that’s what this game is. This game is not about how much you open, you know. You get a lot of guys out there who say I opened 100 sets today, I opened 1000 sets this week, but then I ask them, how many did you close? And they’re like, zero or one.

J:  Yeah, we just talked.

S:  Yeah so I’m not interested in how many sets you’ve opened, how many numbers you get, how many dates you get. How much are you closing? How much are you succeeding? And then you see these videos of people on the internet of guys opening sets and getting numbers. That’s all well and good, but the question is how much are you closing?

J:  Yeah, that’s right. It’s all about sealing the deal. Let’s talk about that, Simon. This is the Kiss and Tell Podcast, Simon. So, I mean, what is your most memorable pick-up moment, or your most recent, or your most favourable one?

S:  That’s a good one, actually. I have loads of interesting little stories that happen all the time. The most recent one is when I was out on a one-on-one coaching session with a student. After the questions session we were both exhausted so we just decided to just go for a drink at a bar. He opened a girl, he opened two really hot friends at a bar. He started chatting to them. He signalled me to come and wing him so I went in there.  Then I realised he was interested in the other one and her friend was the obstacle. So I just started winging but then I realised wow I like this girl, she’s actually hot. So I said to myself, okay, I’m too tired so I’m not really gonna do anything technical and fully utilise my game. I’m just gonna have fun with it. You have fun with it, basically. Have fun with it. so just get into a conversation with girls, get some rapport, do a little bit of sexual escalation. One thing I like to do when I do sexual escalation is, I like to do a little bit of sexual qualification, or qualification.

J:  Tell us a little bit about that.

S:  Qualification is getting the girl to prove herself to you. Sexual qualification is getting a girl to prove herself sexually to you. So I will say something like, on a scale of 1 to 10, how good a kisser are you? What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done with a girl?

J:  Yep.

S:  So you’re getting her to invest sexually. Also, I do some sexual stories. I’ll give an example of a sexual story. A sexual story will be something like, yeah, I went to this Italian food place that makes the best Italian in the world. It’s amazing. I had a pizza. The pizza is amazing. The pizza is better than sex, trust me. I say it to get into a sexual topic.

J:  Yeah, so you use that as a vehicle to get you onto the subject.

S:  Yeah, exactly. So guys, I always tell them, be comfortable talking about sex with women. It does more for you than you can imagine. It does more for you than you can realise. Yeah so I’m doing my push pulls, teasing her, doing my sexual qualifications, doing my sexual stories, stories that just introduce the topic of sex. I will say something like, I read somewhere that women prefer to have sex in red high heels, is that true? What do you think? It’s not about me and her, it’s about something else I’ve heard or read about. Or I say something like, my niece just called me, she’s 16 and she told me she’s just had sex for the first time. I didn’t know whether to be happy for her or to be pissed off. What do you think?

J:  Yeah these are all nice little vehicles to get on to the subject. Yeah, okay.

S:  So yeah, sexual little stories, sexual push-pulls. I will say something like, if it was just me and you in this place I would just bend you over and… but I’m not gonna do it cause we’re in public. So yeah, sexual push-pulls. Another thing about sexual escalation is you escalate verbally, but escalate non-verbally. Escalate with your eyes, you know, look at them with seductive eyes. Your eyes are very important in sexual escalation, but also your voice is very important. When you talk to a girl, you wanna slow down.  Pause cause sexual tension reveals itself in moments of silence. So use that to your advantage. So I do that a lot. People who speak fast, I call them premature ejaculators, you know. People who take their time when they speak, they communicate more sexuality in that moment.

J:  Sure, sure and the slower the more tension that builds.

S:  Yeah, exactly. So I use seductive eyes, I call them. You look at a girl, you smile as if to say, I’ve got a secret that I know, but I’m not gonna tell you. And you kind of have a slight smile on your face and it just does a good job. So, yeah, I’m talking to this girl at the bar and I’m just escalating and having fun. You got to have fun when you’re escalating. Have fun cause women will do anything as long as your fun. Have fun with it, be cheeky, be playful. Do it for your amusement, if you like. So I’m just telling this girl, you’re my type. I’m hitting on you right now. I wanna take you home. She’s like it’s not gonna happen. I say well we’ll see. I’m very charming, so we’ll see what happens. Kept on escalating, having fun, a bit of push-pull. When the bar closed I say to her, let’s go. She’s like, where are we going? I say, back to my place. She’s like, I’m not going home with you. I say, yes you are, come.  And then I just took her to my place. As a man you’ve gotta lead. You have to be leading the whole thing. That’s your job as a man. When you’re dancing with a woman you are the leader. In seduction, you are the leader.

J:  And seduction is a dance, right?

S:  Yeah, exactly. It is a dance and as a man your job to lead the whole thing. You have to make things happen. She just wants to swallow and, you know. She just wants you to have a plan and to know what you’re doing at all points. So, lead, as a man. Take action. Be the initiator of everything. So yeah, you have to lead. Lead the conversation, lead the escalation, lead taking her to your place, everything. Yeah, so I’m leading her to outside of the bar, went home, got home. As soon as a girl comes in my place I am relaxed. I know it’s on. I have done this part so often before that I never mess it up. I switch on the telly, switch on music. Some wine to relax a little bit. Come to my place, I say, listen, it’s not gonna have sex with you, I was just playing. I don’t have sex with girls on the first night. And besides, I didn’t shave my legs. So it’s not gonna happen. So anything a girl would say to me I would say to her, which is funny, right? Which is just funny.

J:  Yeah.

S:  But also one thing I want to make clear is, to the guys listening to this out there, when you develop your sexual confidence, sexual escalation is not something you do, it is who you are as a sexual man. So develop your sexual confidence. I would say, spend time learning about sex and how to give women orgasms. Just knowing that when you bring women back, that you can please a woman and give a woman orgasms makes you a really strong sexual man and women respond to that. They just gravitate towards it cause you just look at them thinking, I have something to give you. So I would recommend guys out there to learn about sex and how to give a woman an orgasm and spend time in that part of their game cause it boosts your confidence up. Something that I can recommend that really helped me is, there’s a program called The Female Orgasm Blueprint. It’s about this guy who used to be a porn star, he’s American. Now he teaches guys about sex and women and how to give women orgasms. It’s nothing too vulgar, it’s just kind of mainstream. It’s just good knowing a few techniques and knowing that you can actually please a woman. It does a lot for your sexual confidence. So, yeah, at this point because I’ve given up my time learning about this stuff, when I’m with a girl I’m confident and relaxed at the same time. This girl was in my house, I’m teasing her, I’m flirting with her. I’m pushing her away a little bit, she’s chasing. I fall asleep. She falls asleep. And then the next morning I just wake up, escalate a little bit, and then it’s on from that point – no resistance whatsoever. So that was like, a really fun story.

J:  There’s a lot of stuff you applied there that made that happen and I think, you know, if the people listening actually play that story back, you can actually see the stuff you’ve talked about is incorporated within, why that became successful, why that happened.

S:  Yeah, exactly. I think these kind of things; field reports, lay reports, it is really interesting. When you look at someone’s lay report you can see he’s right. You can see how things work so that you get experience through their experience, basically.

J:  Yeah. Absolutely. Well, Simon, that’s great. I mean there’s a lot of stuff you’ve gave us there. The mindset, a lot of tips on how to get sexual, when’s too far, calibration. There’s a lot in there and I think our listeners are going to get a lot of value from that. So, Simon, thanks for coming on to the show. I mean, how can people get hold of you, Simon?

S:  Yeah, thanks, mate for the invite. But also I’m working on a new venture, a new project. I call it the Authentic Man’s Club. It should be ready by the end of next month, so by the end of June. By the end of June, just do a Google search, you’ll find it, authentic man’s club. It’s a business I’m creating to help guys, help develop their confidence, their communication skills. But also just to learn how to be a true, sexy, authentic man in life in whatever area it is. So that’s what I’m trying to put together. So, yeah check it out.

J:  Fantastic. All exciting stuff, Simon. All exciting stuff. We’re gonna have to wrap it up there, mate. As I say, you can get hold of Simon on What a fantastic podcast. Thanks for coming on, Simon, and we’ll hang out soon.


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