5 Tips for Developing your Core Confidence

June 16, 2017 - 9 minutes read

Great tips to help develop your core confidence

You’ll see talk throughout this blog of self-confidence, and projecting success as a force of habit. It may seem that some people are born with good looks and brains and that have natural confidence, whereas others may always have to feel down on themselves.

This is not the case

You aren’t born with confidence the same way you aren’t born with biceps or sales skills. You go about building confidence when you’ve invested enough in yourself. You don’t get there without time, patience, and conviction.

What is self-confidence? Being confident is all well and good in a roomful of people, but core confidence comes behind closed doors.

Core confidence is being completely content with who you are, what you do every day, and what you believe on your terms, so that when you see other people you carry that presence with you.

It’s in knowing your strengths and beliefs and applying them to your life that success with women, people, money, community – anything really – takes root. Building self-confidence is as central to success as your skills themselves.

Confidence is an active attribute – you aren’t it, you live it – and lack of confidence is a side-effect of a lack of action.

You have to treat yourself as a pet project for a little while.


Building self-confidence is not for anyone else’s benefit. You have to inhabit the best you by actively living self-confidently. It’s the best way to remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can.

Follow these tips because they’re good for you, not to fill a hole or overcompensate for lack of confidence. That’s where core confidence comes from: an intrinsic knowledge that you are doing the best for yourself on all fronts.


You don’t have to be exceptionally skilled at your hobby to enjoy it.

How to be confident lies in how passionately you can talk about your life. The ability to talk passionately comes from investing in your passions and being able to talk about them.

Whether it’s cars, sports, writing, or putting good back into the world, building self-confidence comes from spending real time developing what you enjoy.

Take a course, join a club, meet other people who can talk about the same thing or collaborate with you. If it’s a business idea, start mapping it out and put it into motion.

The most important thing is to take pride in your passions and to take ownership of your involvement in it.


You should never be fully dependent on your friends. Real core confidence comes from full self-reliance.

However, how to feel confident is a different matter. You have to surround yourself with people that will have your best interests at heart and talk openly with you when you aren’t living up to your potential.

If you are always looking over your shoulder or worrying about the motives of your friends and acquaintances, you may need to think about a reshuffle.

You may have noticed someone who has been there for you in a small way – go out of your way to talk to them more. If there are friends from university or an old job who aren’t around for you, don’t support what you’re currently up to, and don’t seem to have time for you, perhaps you need to cut them from your life.

How to gain self-confidence is being active with reducing your friendship circle to those that count. Not only does it serve as a filter of negativity, it means you’ll have more time in your day to dedicate to things you love, working out, or learning new skills.

The opinions of others shouldn’t factor into your core confidence. However, a network of voices you trust works wonders for how you carry yourself into situations with people you don’t know.


This means physically, fiscally, medically and psychologically stable. If you’re wondering how to be more confident, it doesn’t start from a foundation of fragility.

You might have unassailable, chronic medical issues, which shouldn’t keep you from achieving your true potential. But you need to do what you can to stay as healthy and comfortable as possible.

You won’t feel 100 percent self-confident unless you have your affairs in order. Rent paid, basics sorted, a roof over your head and a unctional body.

Make these a priority. Cut down on booze, partying and distractions and make sure you’re working and bringing in money. Also, eat healthily. It’s so easy and an active part of feeling great about yourself.

Work out too. The rush of endorphins that comes with physical rigour makes you feel great, and you do need to know you’re taking steps towards the body you want.


Knowing how to have confidence and putting in the groundwork above is crucial, but where it becomes self-confidence rather than just contentment is the ability to take it with you wherever you go and to exude it.

This means going out with a woman, even a relative, who knows style and having them pick out some new clothes for you, spending a little more on a haircut and maybe work on your posture and social etiquette.

A lot of people talking about ‘faking it til you make it’ and that’s fine to some extent, if it helps to break down any social barriers you might have.

If you want to express your confidence, you have to look at least like you’ve spent some time thinking about what to wear.


If you’re serious about wanting to know how to become more confident, then all distractions have to fall by the wayside.

You have to be brave, unwavering, and focussed, and make your decisions with clarity and purpose. You may have to make a lot of difficult decisions, like cutting people out of your life, working hard at finding a job, or starting a business.

The act of putting real effort into this crusade for confidence will itself give you confidence because you’ll know you’re putting in the work for self-betterment.

Set yourself targets, and work to reach them with no-one judging but you. The sense of reward accompanying that process will lock confidence into your DNA.


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