Music and mood are inextricably linked, and many of my clients ask how I manage to stay in state. Apps like Spotify and Shazam can be handy tools for keeping a positive social mood rolling.
What is staying in state? This is what I like to call a social snowball: generating positive associations from one encounter and using the energy and positive feeling from that in the next.
While this can be dependent on talking to anyone and everyone you encounter, the journey towards successfully staying in state begins long before you head out.
When you’re at home, alone, before the pre-party, you need to develop a headspace that provides an excellent framework for adding fire and confidence to your interactions with women.
Music can be the key that unlocks this positive mindset.
How to stay in state using music
Humans, like any other animals, are creatures of habit. We create links between certain emotional responses, memories, and sensory experiences, such as specific smells or sounds.
In the same way, should we wish to recreate the buzz of a night out that resulted in getting a few dances and phone numbers, or one that was just memorable and fun, we can use music to place ourselves in that mindset.
While watching videos that make you laugh can put you in a great mood ahead of going out, or simply sitting back with a glass of wine and thinking positive thoughts in your head, nothing is more powerful than music.
Whenever I go out, I know I have Shazam by my side. Shazam is an app that allows a person to whip their phone out and identify any song that is currently playing.
This means that I could be at the beach club in Ibiza, the rooftop party in Manhattan, or the boutique club in Mayfair, and I would know what song is on. I could make a note, enabling me to recreate whatever euphoric feeling I was experiencing at the time in the comfort of my own home while getting ready to hit the town.
Shazam can then save these songs as an ever-evolving Spotify playlist, so you have all of your ideal stimuli grouped in one place.
Spotify is also great for recommending similar songs and related playlists. If you do happen to enjoy a particular set of songs from a certain time, it can recommend songs that sound similar or create a similar vibe.
This can still be highly effective for some people. However, the most powerful playlists to run before going out are those that trigger a memory or emotional association and take you back to a positive or social time.
Make sure you equip yourself with Shazam and Spotify. Both will allow you to take your game to new levels.
How else can I stay in state?
Your social prowess operates on references. Any friendly interaction you have fuels ten further ones. Each of those will fuel an additional ten. Before you know it, you are starting to develop confidence.
Outside of music, there are some simple steps you can take to ensure that you are always on-point with conversation and building social momentum.
Here are some general tips for staying in state on a night out:
- Host the pre-party: Playing host and being the reason everyone is together can do wonders for your confidence. If you’ve got your group of friends sorted with drinks and vibes before heading out, it’s a good foundation for a self-esteem boost.
- Engage everyone in conversation: Don’t for a second restrict conversation to women you find attractive. Talk to everyone. Strike up a conversation with the bouncer or doorman, the taxi driver on the way there, people in the nightclub queue, and groups of people in the club. Bounce from one conversation to the next, and never let your state slip.
- Have a wingman: A wingman can be great to bounce off in conversation as well as pepping you up and keeping you going. Think of them as a gym buddy for your social muscles.
- Go out later in the evening: Heading out once clubs are in full swing means that you can head out right into the thick of the action. You’ll need a longer pre-party, but you’ll be able to conserve energy and channel into a specific time period and maximise your return on investment.
Stay in state, whatever in takes, and you will be the guy that stands out as a social animal.
For in-depth, one-to-one tuition on maintaining social momentum, learn about my 7-Day Programme at www.johnnycassell.com/pua-training.