Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was a successful person!!
You need to realize that life works at a very slow pace. This sounds easy but trust me, it’s way more difficult in practice. In the age of the internet, we easily develop the habit of instant gratification.
Want something to eat? It’s just 2 clicks away. Need some new clothes? Just pick up your phone and Google the latest trends. And this all costs you less than getting the train or driving into town.
This creates a habit loop of EXPECTING everything INSTANTLY. This is the number one reason for stress – wanting something and not having it. We just don’t realize that everything takes time, that dreams are not achieved overnight and this is why most people give up. So slow down, take a deep breath and slowly but consistently work towards your goal.
IMPROVE BY 1% EVERY DAY
Changing yourself takes time, effort and energy. It requires constant improvement, so take small, regular steps towards the goal you want to achieve.
There are several steps in achieving a goal, whether finite like writing a book, or more general like living healthier. You can improve yourself a little every day. First, ask yourself;
EVER THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR PASSION?? WHAT INSPIRES YOU??
Whatever the reason for doing what you do, you must have an end goal in mind. Whether it’s the search for a long-term partner, growth of your business, or a creative project, these are all good goals to achieve.
WHAT DRIVES YOU TO ATTAIN THIS GOAL?
Love? Money? Self-fulfilment? The desire to share your life with someone? Whatever ignites in you the fire of motivation, think about it. Now you can finally ask yourself the most important question;
WHAT STOPS YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?
What do you need to change in yourself to attract your ideal partner? What are the limitations that can affect your career aspirations? What challenges will my project face and how can I overcome them?
This process can be long and introspective, but it’s worth making a note of the barriers in the way of you achieving your goal. The good news is that once you understand what you want and where you need to improve, you will always have a compass guiding you in the right direction. Once you’ve taken note of your goal and the limitations holding you back, you can start to make a plan.
Start planning on the go, every day like Captain Jack Sparrow. Let me give you an example. It’s Monday morning, you’re starting your work and your boss and colleagues are coming at you with extra requests.
If you don’t have a plan set up to know your priorities, it might be tempting to first do what was asked of you by other people, leaving you with insufficient time or energy to do what you need to do for yourself.
If you start your Monday morning with a plan for the day and for the week, you’ll have a clear idea of your priorities. It will be easier to see where you can fit in the extra tasks whilst still keeping time for yourself.
But how do we plan out a roadmap for our goal, so we know what to do day-by-day, and week-by-week?
START WITH DIFFICULT TASKS FROM THE VERY BEGINNING
Why do I say this? We tend to do the easy work first, looking for that quick dopamine hit of a completed task. But by the time the easy work is done, no energy is left to focus on the more challenging yet more productive tasks.
So how do we approach these monster jobs? As MC Hammer once said; break it down. This is how you achieve your goals. Every task can be broken down into smaller tasks. Those in turn can be broken down into even smaller tasks. Keep going until you get to something so small you can do it RIGHT NOW.
For example, you’re growing your following on Instagram. Your goal is to reach 10,000 followers. How do you break this down? Paid promotions, posting a reel every day, collaborations; these are all ways of gaining more followers. So what can you do RIGHT NOW? It takes no more than 30 minutes to draft a message to send out to possible collaborators, or pay for a promotion on a post.
Once these big tasks are done, it will be a downhill journey as you use the momentum gained to accomplish the smaller tasks.
Starting is always the hardest part of any project. Too much time can be wasted overthinking or worrying about getting things perfect first time.
We often have a lot of stock excuses that we tell ourselves in order to talk ourselves out of doing something, but they’re all bullshit!
Once you have your goal in mind, and a plan to guide you towards taking that first small step, what’s stopping you? Just do it!
REWARD YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Studies have shown that rewards are more effective than punishments. Don’t beat yourself up if you miss a target. Instead, allow yourself to celebrate achieving a smaller goal.
The reward should be proportionate to the accomplishment. If it’s a small task, reward yourself with coffee. If you have coffee all day anyway, reward yourself with chocolate, or another little treat.
If you accomplish a major task or reach a milestone, for example reaching 5,000 followers on that Instagram profile, treat yourself to something nice that you’ve had your eye on for a while but couldn’t justify splashing out on. Get those nice shoes, that bigger TV, that fancy cushion. But be strict with yourself! Or the rewards will be meaningless.
For many people, affirmations have huge psychological power. If you repeat something to yourself every day, you will start to believe it. If you believe something about yourself hard enough, it will come true. So, by thinking something about yourself you can make it a reality, whether positive or negative.
Affirmations are a proven method of self-improvement that works positively on our brains. Here are some examples;
– I am courageous and I stand up for myself.
– Everything that’s happening now is for my ultimate good.
– I radiate beauty, charm and grace.
– I possess the required qualities to be extremely successful.
– My life is just beginning.
– What I envision now will come true in the future.
Simply repeat one or some of these affirmations, or think of one that will help you overcome one of your own obstacles, every morning and night.
STICK TO YOUR SYSTEM
If you want to accomplish your goals at all times, create a system and stick to it. Be strict with yourself. Every time you could go off course but stay with it, that’s a win. Every time a short-term goal is accomplished, you’re getting closer to your overall goal. Having a system is what gets you there. Committing to the process makes a huge difference. Even though you’re taking little steps, if it’s every day it will all add up.
LISTENING TO MUSIC
Another way to improve your productivity by just a little bit every day is to listen to music as you work. It can be both a pleasure and a tool. It stimulates your mind and increases brain activity. While listening to something you like, you can be more productive while having fun.
To aid in concentration, I recommend classical piano or violin tracks.
READ TONS OF BOOKS
Even in the time between directly working on your goal, you can be improving yourself.
Reading is food for the soul. By reading as much history, philosophy, and self-motivation as possible, you’ll gain a wider understanding and broader perspective of the world.
Reading about the topic at hand will provide you with information from experts who have already had the same questions as you’re facing now – and already found answers.
Always have a book on the go, whether digitally or by the side of your bed. Even if you can only make 3 pages per day out of a 300 page book, after 100 days that 1% will have added up to 100% and you will have finished the book!
MAKE IT ROUTINE
By adding these small steps to your routine, you’ll be making progress every day, or every week. Over time you’ll notice a huge impact on your productivity. If it’s every day, even small additions add up to big changes.
The key is consistency. Persistence helps too. Don’t drop out when it gets tough.
I myself have a daily check list that allows me to stay motivated, on task, and confident.
So what are the main takeaways here? Be consistent. Be forward-thinking. Be disciplined.
I hope these tips will help you not only to improve yourself every day, but to but also to build a better life, to know what you want and need and to go with the flow of happiness. Now with this guide, I hope you can get out there and attract the kind of woman you want, whether short or long term.
Good luck in whatever path you take my friend, but never forget that the moment you decide to drop your dream, you have to live with that for the rest of your life.
If you require further advice on online dating, look no further than the wealth of articles on my website.
Good vibes always! ❤️
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