Skip to content

5 Tips On Dating Cougars

  • by

Great tips for Dating Cougars!

In your journey to mastering seduction, you’ll encounter many types of women, and you could be forgiven for focusing on women your age or younger.

Ruling out an older woman, however, is a textbook error. You could be missing out on years of experience, and a far more mature and developed worldview.

You might find that you relish the enhanced conversation and sexual dominance that can come with ten or so extra years of practice.

The fundamentals are the same talking to any woman, but a more refined lady warrants a more refined approach.

It’s always worth knowing how to talk to cougars. Bear the following in mind, and you should find this can often be far easier than going for girls your age – and perhaps more rewarding with it.


Experience can make a woman choosy following a string of bad relationships, but it can also mean she is looking for a shot of energy men her age maybe cannot provide.


This becomes especially important as the woman’s age progresses. Similar to the natural hierarchy for guys, you have two avenues: alpha and beta ladies.

The alpha ladies tend to be sophisticated, professionally advanced and sexually dominant. They are normally those too busy to uphold a relationship up to the point you met them.

Then there are the betas, looking to feel better about themselves after perhaps a crumbled marriage.

The latter are, naturally, easier to approach and virtually a certain phone number. The alphas are the real way to push yourself. They know what they want and drive the conversation, hoping that you will step up to the plate and prove that you are as much man as anyone their age.

Whichever you choose, your approach will be shaped entirely by the reason she is out in the first place. Be sure to ask open questions to gauge who she is, but not enough to seem over-eager.

You can normally tell simply by looking. Alpha and beta females present themselves differently even just in the way they stand, what they drink, and their present company. Alphas may be alone, whereas betas will likely be with a pack of friends.

Open up. Gauge within the first few sentences the confidence in their body language, and base your approach on that.


They will have been through a lifetime of pre-meditated chat-up lines and corny approaches, and will likely be on the other side of a lot of chest-puffing promises that never came to fruition.

Treat it like a job interview. You have to take the lead, but notice something as a reference point with which to open first, perhaps an item of jewellery or clothing or something they’re drinking.

Alphas will almost certainly lead the questioning. They are vetting you. Hard. They are not there to be led. So answer honestly, smile a lot, and have no shame in any of your answers.

They are not looking for their ideal guy, and chances are they’re picking you up, not the other way round.

Integrity is key. They will smell inauthenticity from a mile away. Don’t claim to be a big shot or ultra-mature if you aren’t. An older woman is continuing to talk to you because they want your more youthful vigour.

They also want confidence beyond your years. Give it to them.

Show interest in them as well. A cougar’s advanced years mean they’ve done more, or they’re in a great job and want to talk about it. They won’t be invested in a guy who isn’t genuinely invested in them.

Reactive conversation is key to approaching all women.


They will expect to be treated with a level of courtesy that you may not be used to providing.

Once you’ve picked up a phone number and made a date, keep it. With cougars, it’s concrete. No being late. No cancelling at the last minute. You’ll miss your shot if you don’t. They’re either busy or don’t get to do this much.

Make sure you’re taking her coat, pulling out her chair and dressing the part is simply part of talking to older women. Chivalry is important to any date, but only because most girls aren’t expecting it and it gets you bonus points.

Cougars are expecting this, as a bare minimum. Meet their expectations.


Avoiding pretension is the essential part of holding on to a cougar.

Honesty is the crux of any functional relationship. You need to be upfront, all the time.

Not only is it attractive, but chances also are they’ve been hurt before in their 30/35+ long years and don’t want to go through that again.

Plus, it oozes confidence if you’re proud of your life as you’ve built it, and faith in your life and passions, whatever they are, will be the shot of exuberance and enthusiasm they could be missing.

That will make you valuable to her.


Introducing her to your life is the trickiest part of dating a cougar. It’s not just about how to get a cougar. It’s about how to get a cougar invested in you.

As much as you’ve let her teach you the ropes of gentlemanly courtship, you need to show her the fun part about being you.

If she’s busy, or not used to whatever it is that you enjoy as a younger male, you need to acclimatise her to what you’re into.

This is where you lead, and it takes a little while to get here, but if you get her sitting down with a kung-fu movie, or invite her to one of your gigs, this will be what marks you out as unique.

It’s the combination of confident and unique that seals the deal.

Your role in dating a cougar is to remind her that she needed this all along, and while you’re more than happy to step up her to her level of maturity, there’s also a fun, positive experience to be had at your level.

Cougars come with their fair share of challenges, but try approaching a few and see if this isn’t something that works for you.

For more great advice on dating women of all ages, don’t forget to check out my bespoke coaching services here.

Related Posts




5 Secrets High Class Women Wish You Knew

Download your FREE guide TODAY!

No thanks, I dont want to learn
    Your Cart
    Your cart is emptyReturn to Shop