So you’ve tried everything – going to bars, the free dating sites, introductions through friends and colleagues – and all you’re turning up is dead ends and damp squibs. It’s becoming frustrating, and spreading your net has escalated from a fun thing to do to a complete waste of time.
The same thing can happen with finding a job, or getting an acting role, or selling a house. There are dedicated professional agencies for these too – often the only way to succeed at these. Especially if you don’t have the time to spend due to work/kids, you could do worse than approaching a professional agency.
Your key dating site introduction should be to think in terms of the above – people to represent you and find a match both ways. You present a profile of yourself, answer questions to shape the kind of matches that come your way, and then it’s up to you to arrange a date and make it work in person. You’ll also be likely to pay a monthly subscription for a bespoke service.
Free services are also lurking about – ukdating.co.uk and datingagency.com are two prolific examples. What datingagency has over ukdating is a dedicated 40+ section, so it’s a little more niche. To really specialise, however, you’d be looking at paid private dating services, and the more elite executive dating sites.
There’s no shame in it, and there’s different types of dating agency you can approach to kickstart your dating life again. They help to reduce any interfering variables that may be getting in the way of developing a worthwhile connection before an encounter.
Here are my tips as to how to navigate the world of the dating agency.
- SET YOUR BOUNDARIES
- BE FAMILIAR WITH THE MARKET
- GIVE A GREAT ACCOUNT OF YOURSELF
- BE PROACTIVE
Before you throw your credit card details at any old hack, you have to know what you want in dating generally.
Set your boundaries
You have to set your parameters and focus your aim otherwise you’re going to be wasting time, effort and money on dates that will ultimately go nowhere. Filter your responses as you would CVs.
If you’re looking for high-powered women, you’ll do best to go for professional dating or an executive dating service. If you’re looking for religiously inclined partners, head for a jewish, muslim or christian dating agency. If you’re an ex-army man looking for a similarly inclined women, or you’re looking for women looking for military types, a military dating agency wouldn’t be a bad call. You can get most of the filtering done just by doing your research.
You then need to see beyond the label or common ground, as you would hope they would. Don’t be afraid to be picky, but with what you’re looking for in a partner – if you’re interested in something outside of work, or church, maybe look for someone who shares those interests and filter out those who don’t. Or perhaps you’re too busy to get involved with kids. In which case, filter the mums.
It’s not a slight to anyone you don’t want to get involved with. Dating can turn pretty expensive, and you need to make sure you’re not settling.
Be familiar with the market
If you’re going to impart your money to a professional dating service, you have to treat it like any other ongoing subscription. Get the most for your money.
You’ll find that most professional dating sites are pretty reasonable in terms of price range, between £10-£15 in general, but you need to make sure you have a reliable customer service support line and a free trial to familiarise yourself with the pool of women.
For an elite dating service or executive dating site you may be looking at upwards of £30 or even £50 a month as they’re aiming at a higher-level earner. Within this cost, though, you’ll have a highly specialised service with in-depth profiling and pinpoint profile-matching. They know your time is valuable and very often provide a face-to-face service.
The important thing is to sign up for a few free trials and compare the services side-by-side. This not only serves to give you the most direct comparison of services, you are casting your net as wide as possible.
Only cough up when you’re ready to make a serious go of it. That could get you entry to a club to talk to women face-to-face. You have to be going in with the intent to use it. Put your free trial periods to use not only as a trial for the service, but also for yourself.
However, you’ll find that if you’re willing to put the money in, you’ll be far more likely to get a really personal dating service.
Give a great account of yourself
If you have a shabby, half-assed LinkedIn profile, do you imagine getting a job through it? The same goes for your dating profile.
If you’re on an executive dating site, it’s important to highlight that your career is important to you, as you’re looking for more of the same. It’s important, however, not to churn out a CV – give a description of what you do, then move on to what makes you unique.
Importantly, if you’ve become all about your job, make some space for hobbies, interests or travelling. You’re going to have to leave room for dating anyway, you might as well pick up some interesting stuff to talk about along the way.
Buy a new suit or two and take some great pictures (maybe even spend money on them) and be sure to describe who you’re looking for – an advert works two ways.
Focus on uniqueness rather than impressiveness. Don’t present what makes you better, present something that marks you as a standout and makes them double take. Talking to women in person has the exact same ethos.
International dating agencies provide a great analogy for this. They exist, and they’re great for meeting different women from all over the world. The more women you approach, the more nationalities you’ll meet. The more you’ll have to talk about and learn from your experience with dating companies.
Aside from making the most of your investment (and it is an investment – the same goes for my 7 Day Course) you need to mould your online dating experience through action.
You need to treat your use of private dating services as you would a bar or club experience. Talk to as many women as possible. Have fun, play games, think of silly introductions. Do whatever you want. Just do it in as many women’s inboxes as possible. Put aside real time to invest in making friendly encounters, and you’ll get real results.
And finally, some tips on how to start a dating service. It’s a huge industry, raking in over $1bn last year, and if you want a piece you need to look at it, ironically, like online dating. Make sure you know who your clientele are, and filter them. Hone your image to appeal to them, and research the pricing of similar websites to know where you place yourself in the market. Name yourself in line with who you want to attract.
Then, it’s important to get out in the real world – get a website (crucial even for mainly face-to-face dating services) and get business cards/flyers. Give free subscriptions to friends, get them hooked up (like they’ll complain) and spread the word. Dating services are only as effective as their success stories.
For more game-changing advice on how to take the party offline, check out my courses and guides here.