How to be an Alpha male but remain a Gentlemen

October 17, 2017 - 9 minutes read

When people think of an alpha male personality, they will often imagine the competitive guy trying to win everything and claim dominance in the room.

Newflash: the guy doing everything but pissing on the nearest wall to prove his alpha status is likely not the ringleader.

Silverback gorillas may well get their own way through bellowing and the thumping of chests, but human alpha males, the ones women probably want going up to them in nightclubs, express themselves in male confidence and social leadership.

How to be alpha is simple: You have to know what you want, own it, and go after it confidently, always leading. Be positive and social instead of cutting others down. And carry yourself like a king.

In short: the true alphas are naturally gentlemen because they make others feel comfortable around them. Here’s the breakdown on being alpha.

Always lead the conversation

Carry yourself like a man

Speak slowly and boldly

Be positive and support those who are with you

Invest in yourself 

You won’t convincingly know how to be an alpha male until you are one. As long as you own your successes responsibly, you won’t need to be in competition with any other man in the room.

Your male confidence will come only from internal successes. That’s how to be an alpha male.

Always lead the conversation 

You don’t have to barge in unwanted and you should always ask questions and listen to whatever responses you get. But be sure to confidently introduce yourself, and lead the woman into a rapport-building situation.

An alpha male also immediately frames his intentions. If you’re opening up a business deal, you state your end game and lead them there convincingly. If you think a girl’s cute and you’re seducing her, state it outright. “I think you’re beautiful – what’re you out celebrating?”

A smile will support any conversation you have, so make eye contact, grin an easy grin and ask an open question, maybe giving a supporting opinion yourself to ease her into the conversation.

Asking open questions leads her to a response – they are a fantastic tool as they still lead the direction of the conversation but allow her to add more points of reference for you to respond to.

Carry yourself like a man 

You don’t need to be loud to be noticed. Your body language will do 90% of your talking for you before you’ve even opened your mouth.

Keep your back straight, actively roll your shoulders back and keep your feet separated at the width of your shoulders. When you walk, take long, purposeful strides, and always keep your head raised at your eye level.

(Keeping your head raised will actually work wonders for keeping your back straight.)

Minimise fidgeting with or jiggling your legs, as it’s a sign of nervous energy, and keep your arms and chest open to seem as social and approachable as possible.

It’s not seeming aloof and better than everyone that makes you alpha. How to carry yourself like a man is when people feel comfortable being in your presence, and you draw people into that positive feeling.

Rolling your shoulders back and keeping your spine straight also stretches out your diaphragm, which is important for this next part…

Speak slowly and loudly 

Clear speech shows a clear mind, and a clear mind knows and expresses what it wants.

So don’t rush or gabble your words, breathe calmly and evenly every few words, and don’t be afraid of pausing for breath, or asking them a question to gather your thoughts.

Use the full range of your voice, and speak from your belly, not your throat. Bonus points for inflecting downwards at the end of sentences.

You don’t have to sound pompous or portentous to sound like you frequently handle important matters, and you can create a warm, positive environment and still retain and sense of poise in your voice.

It’s also important not to overshare. A true alpha male will need to retain some mystery in order to lead.

Be positive and support those around you 

Those friends you see cutting each other down in front of people to seem like the bigger guy? Likelihood is, they’re not.

An alpha male doesn’t need to assert his dominance over the people he’s with. In fact, he knows he’s surrounded himself with the right people and takes pleasure in their company.

If you’ve got true confidence in yourself, you will often find yourself selling your friends’ achievements instead of your own.

When you’re with people and you create a positive vibe with and around them, women notice that as well. People feeling great around you is the real mark of an alpha, and not just new acquaintances that you stand to gain from, either sexually or financially.

Most importantly, surround yourself with people that deserve your company. We’ve all found ourselves in a friendship group that has at least one guy trying to grind us down for his own gain.

Surround yourself with positive influences, and you’ll find yourself feeling like the alpha all the time, and you’ll learn to love socialising.

Invest in yourself 

How to act like an alpha male is simple: Be one. 

If you’re not trying to do the best for yourself, and hit personal goals, and grow, then you’ll never feel like an alpha male.

But the reason they are so comfortable and they exude success so easily is that they have a lot of success.

The only person defining success is you.

If you set yourself little goals, achieve little victories, and build to bigger goals, you’ll constantly have positive reference points to ballast your confidence.

That could be at the gym, at work, on a course, on a sports team, in a band, even just doing what you love. Spending time realising and beating your limitations is what will make you a real alpha male, without having to sacrifice decorum, and by making people feel great about themselves around you.

Don’t try to be the biggest and best in your group of friends. Just be the biggest and best you, and you’ll immediately notice the difference.

Sometimes, people need a bit of help getting out of that initial comfort zone. If that sounds like you, get in touch through site. I can start you on your journey to social and sexual mastery.

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