It’s easy to envision being young, vital and pressure-free, gallivanting around the dating world like a bull in a china shop and thinking about the fruits any amount of encounters with women would yield. I’m sure you have fond memories of the same.
But time moves on, and those urges aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. Maybe you have more responsibilities now than you did then (kids, a mortgage, a high-profile job, a set of habits that places you permanently in front of the TV) but you still have just as much to offer women and a wealth of experience to boot.
Mature dating is tricky as you may have just come out of a marriage or long relationship, and may not have had to think about it for some time.
Stick with it though. It’s never too late. For starters:
- USE YOUR NETWORK
- GET INVOLVED
- GET ONLINE BUT BE CAREFUL
- BE OPEN
- SHARPEN YOUR CONVERSATION
Whether you’re over 50 dating people the same age or over 40 dating mature singles, you’re going to need to move your talk offline eventually.
Use your network
The main advantage you have over your 23-year-old self is time, and a lot of it. Dating for seniors often comes via the introductions of friends and family, or from the workplace, or even from church groups and schools attended three decades beforehand. And you have a lifetime’s worth of connections to rummage through.
Whether you’re a sprightly 60 or a mature 50, it’s likely taken you some serious cajones to jump back into the dating game. At an age when many people you know are married, you need to look for leads.
Before you re-enter the dating world, be social. Go to parties, say yes to things, learn to relax and unwind from work and get involved in the parts of what you love that involve other people. Forget those ‘free senior dating sites’ for just a second. You like football? Stop sitting at home betting and join a five-a-side league. Like sitting at home reading? Join a book club. Kids taking up all of your time? Hang out with other parents.
You will almost by default be introduced or actively set up with more women as a result. Plus, you’ll be a more youthful, proactive, complete person as a result.
Get online but be careful
Back to those ‘dating sites for seniors.’ With the pressures that accompany middle age, flirting at 40 dating over 50 can admittedly be difficult a difficult framework in which to go to bars, set up dates, meet women and be back in time for the commute.
Signing up to mature dating sites is a great way to strike up a connection first, gauge what situation you are both in, and see if there is enough of a spark to move forward. You have precious little time to dedicate to a frayed connection that is going nowhere and making online contact first on one of the many free dating sites for seniors is a surer way to invest in worthwhile options.
You also have an opportunity to make a great account of yourself. You should take mature dating only as an opportunity to rebrand yourself – get a new haircut, maybe get a lady friend to go clothes shopping with you, and make sure you update Facebook every once in a while with a fun thing you’re up to or interested in. Choose your best angle, a shoulders-up profile picture and, for god’s sake, remember to smile in it.
Watch out for liars. Be cautious: when you’re over 50 dating site encounters can pretty often be falsified. Some of the best dating sites for over 50 are the Guardian’s ‘Soulmates’ site and eHarmony. They are moderated and matches are worked out for you based on compatible characteristics. You can never 100% weed out the catfish (a term for online impostors) but this should go some way to making sure you aren’t wasting your time.
Also, Google yourself. You’ve been alive twice as long as the internet, and you may be half as familiar with it as someone half your age in the online dating game. 15 minutes of the wrong exposure online can lose you a job, and women are much the same. If she clicks off your profile onto Google, make sure she sees the right information. Keep your Facebook up to date and make sure it shows at least the county you’re in – she may balk if you have an old residence still up there half a continent away.
If you have a fear of the internet and all of the over 50 dating sites inside it, and are looking to start dating again, you still have the networking options mentioned above. But you’re cutting off a world to yourself – maybe it’s time to embrace the new.
If you lie online, or fail to tell the women about children/current wives (unless you’re planning a quickie in which case never mention that stuff) then it’s only going to break that trust. Older women need to be able to trust you – they’ve likely been married or deeply involved with someone before. Also, older guys posing online as something else is most people’s textbook definition of creepy. Avoid that like it’s hair loss.
Also be open in a sense that you should not be ashamed of your life. You’ve seen 4, 5, maybe 6 decades through. You’ve made mistakes, earned stripes and live stories. Maybe you’ve been married or lost someone. Talking about your life as it really is can be a great way to make a connection and find a shared experience, which can be harder to come by than in young people eager to find any kind of common ground.
That’s the life you’ve gained experience throughout, and that experience is what will carry you through those free dating sites for seniors and beyond.
Sharpen your conversation
Unless you’re a very motivated type of person, I’m guessing you’re on this page because you’re one of those older guys who can’t still run a marathon or doesn’t quite still have the chiselled jaw of his heyday.
Meaning conversation becomes ever more important. Once they get past the free dating sites over 50 year olds are judged on their conversation and charisma.