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Crafting Confidence

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crafting confidence

Embrace Action to Transform Your Life

One of, if not the most attractive traits in a man is, without question, confidence. Why is this? You don’t need to look like Timothée Chalamet to attract women. You just need to possess the right traits. What are these? Independence. Compassion. Security. No woman wants to feel like she has to look after you as well as herself. She wants to know you care, so that she will receive enough love and attention in the relationship. And she wants to feel safe. How do we accomplish this? By showing confidence.

Confidence is sexy. It sends the message that you’ve got everything under control. If you approach a woman while nervously wringing your hands with a look of worry on your face, with barely enough confidence to speak, she’s not going to relax, open up and feel like she can speak to you. She’s just going to wonder what there is to be nervous about.

“What is he hiding? What is he possibly going to ask me that’s making him that nervous?”

This is why confidence is important. Humans are very social creatures. We subconsciously read tiny social cues such as in facial expressions and body language to work out how we should feel in an interaction. So if you’re giving off anxious vibes, she’s going to feel anxious. If you’re relaxed, she’ll relax. Confidence is key to achieving this goal.

I can hear you asking, “Can confidence be earned?” Luckily for you, reader, confidence is not a trait reserved for the fortunate few. It’s a skill that can be cultivated through purposeful actions and thoughtful design. Confidence can be developed over time to be an innate part of your character. I’m going to talk here about what to do in your daily life to slowly build a life in which confidence can naturally flourish, long term.

If you find yourself yearning to bolster this particular facet of your life, whether it’s for relationships, career, or personal growth, remember that true confidence springs from the crucible of experience. Confidence can be ‘faked’, by acting the part, which is a necessary step, but to wholeheartedly embark on this journey, one must recognize that mere contemplation won’t suffice; it’s in the ‘doing’ that true transformation unfolds.

  1. The Power of Action: Moving Beyond Contemplation

It’s easy to become ensnared in the cycle of overthinking and self-doubt, perpetually analysing scenarios without taking that crucial step towards action. To build confidence, one must break free from “analysis paralysis” and step into the arena of action. If you’re striving to build confidence, I can’t stress enough the importance of just doing that thing that scares you. Mere reflection won’t suffice; it’s the tangible steps you take that lay the foundation for self-assurance. Once you’ve done it, you’ll know that it’s something you can do. This is where confidence comes from.

The more you find yourself thinking about doing something, the less likely you are to do it. Why is this? The more time that passes, the more likely you are to think of reasons not to approach that girl or make that call, as opposed to reasons to do it. Not only that, but every minute that passes is a minute you could have been talking to her, and each minute could be the one in which she decides to leave. This applies to any situation. When you find yourself in your head, telling yourself you’re going to do it, or when you’re going to do it, that’s the time to shut your inner monologue up and just ask yourself – why not now? Put one foot in front of the other, stop thinking and start doing.

  1. Auditing Your Lifestyle: A Roadmap to Confidence

Picture your life as a canvas waiting to be painted with the hues of your aspirations. To design a life that exudes confidence, begin by conducting an audit of your lifestyle. Scrutinize where you invest your time, the activities that occupy your days, and the people with whom you share your moments. Consider each aspect through the lens of your desired confidence, evaluating whether they align with your goals or impede your progress.

For example, if your goal is to meet and connect with attractive women, you need to ask if the way you spend your time is going to put you in front of beautiful women. Are you going out to an evening class every week, or are you wasting away every evening in front of Netflix? Which one of those do you think is going to help you meet more amazing women?

Next is your appearance. Like I said, you don’t need to be the most handsome man on the planet. At the very least, you need to be well-groomed and self-aware. Do your clothes scream confidence? Does your posture paint the portrait of a confident man?

  1. Purposeful Design: Crafting Your Confidence Blueprint

Once you’ve identified the elements that nourish your self-assured journey and those that hinder it, it’s time to design your personalized confidence blueprint. Visualize the life you want to lead and determine the actionable steps that will lead you there. This means you won’t lose sight of your objectives. You’ll have a quiet confidence knowing that you’re on the right path to achieving your goals.

Every decision, from the activities you prioritize to the relationships you nurture, should be an intentional choice that aligns with your confidence-building objective.

First, let’s adjust your posture. Imagine a piece of string is attached to the top of your head. Imagine you’re now being pulled by this string. You should find yourself standing up straight. Now, pump your shoulders back, your bum out, and stand with your legs apart, in line with your waist. Finally, relax everything. This is what confidence looks like.

Time is your most precious resource, and how you allocate it shapes your journey towards confidence. If, after your self-audit, you find that your activities don’t align with your goals, reallocate your time to activities that do align with your aspirations and amplify your self-assurance.

Engage in tasks that stretch your comfort zone, where challenges become stepping stones to growth. Take up yoga or dance. Never done it before? Even better. Start learning a language to increase the amount of interactions you can have with women of a wider variety of backgrounds. What kind of woman are you looking for? Where do those kind of women hang out? Go to those places.

By dedicating time to meaningful endeavours, you’ll not only boost your self-esteem but also forge a path to mastery and accomplishment. This brings us on to our next point.

  1. Choosing Activities Wisely: Cultivating Competence

Confidence without competence is a sandwich with no filling. Have you ever met those kind of people that make you ask, “What do they have to be confident about?” Well, those people may well attract women to begin with, but you will find they can’t hold down a relationship. There’s no substance. In contrast, if you look like you’re in control, and you are in control, you’ve got the whole package. Women won’t lose interest as soon as you’ve broken the ice, but will be impressed the more they get to know you.

The activities you engage in play a pivotal role in shaping your confidence. Seek out tasks that enable you to cultivate competence and expertise. As you conquer challenges and witness your progress, your confidence will naturally burgeon.

Remember, it’s not about avoiding failure but embracing it as an essential part of the learning process. Every stumble is a stepping stone towards greater self-assuredness.

Sports are a great option, as it will also help you stay in shape and introduces a competitive nature that give even more opportunities to develop your confidence. However, as stated previously, you could take up an art form such as painting or a skill like learning a language.

As you learn more and develop your skills in this particular area, you will know that you have that thing, or multiple things, that you are good at. This is one more place that confidence comes from.

  1. Curating Connections: Surround Yourself with Positivity

Your journey towards confidence is not solely individual. It’s also intricately woven within the relationships you nurture. Evaluate the people you spend time with; do they uplift and support your aspirations, or do they sow seeds of doubt? We are an average of the 5 closest people around us. Take a look at the 5 closest people around you. Would you be happy to have an average of their success, of their attitude to life?

Surround yourself with individuals who believe in your potential and encourage your growth. Having a solid support network who all uplift and complement each other is essential for motivation. These connections will serve as pillars of strength, bolstering your confidence even when faced with adversity.

Sometimes this might mean we have to move on from old friendships that may be holding us back. Take a look at your friends’ lifestyles. Are they nurturing progress and growth? Or are they still stuck comfortably numb in the same low paying job as they had 10 years ago? Being around that mindset day in, day out is going to have a negative effect on your well-being as well as your confidence. You will start to think like them, and then start to feel like them.

Making the right kind of friends and cultivating your own social circle can be daunting, but it follows many of the rules for finding the right kind of girlfriend. Where do these kind of people meet? Go there and practice those social skills.

I hope now you realise that confidence can be learned. Confidence can be developed, not as a passive endeavour, but an active pursuit. Confidence can be improved by deliberate actions, a keen audit of your lifestyle, purposeful design, time allocation, wise activity selection, and the cultivation of positive relationships. By embracing these principles, you’ll transform your aspirations into reality, crafting a life imbued with unwavering confidence. Remember, confidence is not a destination; it’s a journey shaped by your choices and actions. So, step into the arena, embrace the ‘doing,’ and watch as your confidence blossoms like a vibrant flower in the garden of your life.

If you require further assistance developing your confidence, why not take a confidence course with me now? There’s no need to struggle on your own. A confidence coach can be just what you need to help you achieve your goals. Even Olympic athletes need a coach.

If you want to read more about confidence, attraction, and a whole host of other topics regarding dating and lifestyle, look no further than the wealth of articles on my website.



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